Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Funny thing is if we were all 100% religious, there would be nobody to do research and invent cures for diseases.

   If I ever get deathly ill, please don't send prayers. Send doctors.

   the new b ush library has one wing dedicated to weapons of mass destruction but no one can seem to find it..

   President Obama is the worst thing that has happened to Amerca

   just not that into you.

   Asks .... Why dont they make mouse flavoured cat food?

   I was in Walmart the other day and noticed they had some Obama Christmas tree decorations for sale...I guess they figure it's okay to hang a black man from a tree now.......

   I was just thinking. How many people have been killed in the name of Atheism? Also, how many wars have been started in the name of Atheism? Are there any suicide bombing Atheists out there? Hmm.

   The funniest thing about this message is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything you its too late for you to stop reading it you dumb f**k

   Do atheists refer to Godzilla as Nothingzilla?

   I performed at a charity event last night for women with no legs and I gotta tell ya fellas, that place was just crawling with ass…. Literally!

   listening to Obama's "good news about the economy" speech was the best April fool's prank yet...

   at the gym pretending to get a good workout.

   Sorry I sneezed cocaine on your baby.

   TSA told me to report any suspicious activity, and they got mad when I told them I saw a black guy leaving a tip at one of the restaurant

   Ladies, finding a man is easy. Just chill with the insecurities and talk less. Keeping a man is easy too. Learn to cook and scuk his dcik…

   Wouldn't it be awesome if in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - the baby turns out to be Blade. And Wesley Snipes slaughters all those teenage vampires.

   CNN just asked Joe Biden when he was going to pick a running mate, He told them he thought he already had.

   I hate When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

   Hey have you ever been to london,,,,,its a fU%&king RIOT..!!!