Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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After a complete high school education, the things Jimmy Neutron says don't sound all that impressive anymore. 
think it "Has Bin" a Blast!
I found the iPad 3 announcement especially disappointing because I'm still standing in line for my iPad 2.
if you're on a blind date and they ask if you're into furry handcuffs, and then admit they sometimes wet the bed... playing possum may not be your best choice of escape
shaking it like a Polaroid picture.
Dear Religion, While you were debating what chicken sandwiches were okay to eat, I just landed on Mars. Sincerely, Your Pal Science
Hey Obama, get your head out of your a$$, and start protecting the American people.
Funny thing is if we were all 100% religious, there would be nobody to do research and invent cures for diseases.
If I ever get deathly ill, please don't send prayers. Send doctors.
the new b ush library has one wing dedicated to weapons of mass destruction but no one can seem to find it..
President Obama is the worst thing that has happened to Amerca
just not that into you.
Asks .... Why dont they make mouse flavoured cat food?
I was in Walmart the other day and noticed they had some Obama Christmas tree decorations for sale...I guess they figure it's okay to hang a black man from a tree now.......
I was just thinking. How many people have been killed in the name of Atheism? Also, how many wars have been started in the name of Atheism? Are there any suicide bombing Atheists out there? Hmm.
The funniest thing about this message is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything you its too late for you to stop reading it you dumb f**k
Do atheists refer to Godzilla as Nothingzilla?
I performed at a charity event last night for women with no legs and I gotta tell ya fellas, that place was just crawling with ass…. Literally!
listening to Obama's "good news about the economy" speech was the best April fool's prank yet...
at the gym pretending to get a good workout. 