Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   i would not pray for you, nut below

   This status is brought to you today by the neighbor's router.

   Norwegian Cruises are offering buy 1 week get 2 free. Use promo code "CORONA"

   I'd rather be quarantined with my family than with the finest people in the world.

   I bet people's pets are just loving this quarantine

   YOU CANT GROUND ME, THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY DID -Kids

   The below post, I checked on his Twitter page. Now I see why he's this stupid. SMH.

   Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It’s like having a remote to open the fridge.

   I went to the bank today. I saw a man with a mask and gloves come in and thank God he was just there to rob the place.

   Around a third (42%) of parenting is pretending you understand your child’s homework

   Paying the internet $4.99 to take an IQ test is you failing the test.

   I like seeing people with no mask or gloves on. Just raw doggin' life

   Thinking of calling into work due to diarrhea…no one questions diarrhea

   me: sorry but I just can’t sugarcoat this my boss at Kellogg:’s: you’re fired

   “What if your breakfast could occasionally spit acid in your eye?” -Inventor of grapefruit

   Drinking 8 glasses of water isn’t easy, but I get really thirsty when I eat Funyuns. So problem solved. It feels good to be healthy.

   If you're wondering what all the talk about "Karens" means. It's a large group of women in charge of the homeowners association.

   I started wearing a mask before everyone started doing it, but then again I've always been a trendsetter like that.

   My mouth was numbed and I licked all over my orthodontist’s finger thinking it was my gums so now I can never go back and will have braces forever

   price doesn't always equal quality. A 50 dollar hooker works harder than 250 dollar hooker.