Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Pope Benedict just changed his relationship status with the Vatican to "It's complicated". 
My aunt, a widow, who had 18 kids just died. At the service, the preacher said, "They're finally together." He didn't mean her husband, he meant her legs.
This just in: Hurricane Sandy hits Cuba, does $6,000,000.00 in improvements!!
Enough with the Charlie sheen already! The guys a walking joke we get it....
They are giving free AIDS test at the DMV. The only thing worse than waiting in line at DMV is finding out you have AIDS.
Hillary didn't faint, her knees didn't buckle... She slipped on all of her bull$hit....
panicking who will keep an eye on Russia if Sarah Palin moves stateside?!
Roses are red Violets are blue Porn hub is downYour mums Facebook will do..
One tectonic plate bumped into another and said....."Sorry, my fault"
always confused when someone brings up Indians in a conversation...I never know if they are referring to the feather or slurpee ones....
What? As of 22:00 GMT, Obama got 60,432,775 votes. Romney got 57,631,452 votes.
Can Obama's Jobs Plan make you a Millionaire? Yes, if you a Billionaire
Maybe the EBT card shutdown is actually a new DIET plan created by Michelle Obama?
chillin out maxin' relaxin all cool.
attending life, and has no plans afterwards
Why do you Americans have to involve race in everything? Leave it to the media to put ideas into your minds. The country/world will never know peace until we start referring to each other as human beings. One Love...
Religion is a bit like porn: You know deep down it's all lies but you still buy it. It's a multi-billion dollar industry making a few people very rich. It distorts reality, inciting desires it never satisfies. AND the scripts it's based on are always sh*t
African Americans sure do enjoy stabbing and shooting each other at their award shows for each other.
white girl + black guys = white trash
What kind of loser good for nothing idiot supports Hillary Clinton anyway? 