Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   panicking who will keep an eye on Russia if Sarah Palin moves stateside?!

   Roses are red Violets are blue Porn hub is downYour mums Facebook will do..

   One tectonic plate bumped into another and said....."Sorry, my fault"

   always confused when someone brings up Indians in a conversation...I never know if they are referring to the feather or slurpee ones....

   What? As of 22:00 GMT, Obama got 60,432,775 votes. Romney got 57,631,452 votes.

   Can Obama's Jobs Plan make you a Millionaire? Yes, if you a Billionaire

   Maybe the EBT card shutdown is actually a new DIET plan created by Michelle Obama?

   chillin out maxin' relaxin all cool.

   attending life, and has no plans afterwards

   Why do you Americans have to involve race in everything? Leave it to the media to put ideas into your minds. The country/world will never know peace until we start referring to each other as human beings. One Love...

   Religion is a bit like porn: You know deep down it's all lies but you still buy it. It's a multi-billion dollar industry making a few people very rich. It distorts reality, inciting desires it never satisfies. AND the scripts it's based on are always sh*t

   African Americans sure do enjoy stabbing and shooting each other at their award shows for each other.

   white girl + black guys = white trash

   What kind of loser good for nothing idiot supports Hillary Clinton anyway?

   Who says Obama's $870 Billion stimulus isn't creating job? About 50 house Republicans are gonna get a job because of it.

   why dont they complain when Catholic Churches are built by playgrounds??

   leting his eye lashes hug each other for few hours.

   you can sleep with a blonde,you can sleep with a brunette, but you won't get any sleep with a redhead. ;)

   super glued Al Gore's mouth in an effort to prevent further global warming

   WHO's GUILTY? Husband and Wife are sleeping. Wife dreaming at night suddenly shouts "Quick my husband is back". Husband gets up & jumps out of the window!