Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
2999
3000
3001
3002
3003
3004
3005
3006
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 3003 of 6446
I'm dving behind someone who is obviously scared of his gas pedal.
13
7
←Rate |
09-17-2010 19:29
Comments (
0
)
My neighbor pays for the premium channels.
13
7
←Rate |
09-21-2010 15:13
Comments (
0
)
I'm so happy Facebook wasn't around when I was in high school.
13
7
←Rate |
09-23-2010 16:57 by
badd status
Comments (
0
)
Just found out that I've been on double secret probation for quite sometime now.
13
7
←Rate |
10-09-2010 20:04
Comments (
0
)
the heart has reasons to say things that the brain will never understand
13
7
←Rate |
11-06-2010 18:55
Comments (
0
)
kiss my asprin
13
7
←Rate |
11-13-2010 18:35 by
Juan\' Javier
Comments (
1
)
going to set up a dating website for pyromanics and call it mymatchbook
13
7
←Rate |
11-15-2010 15:22
Comments (
0
)
When someone says "I'll think about it," they're just trying to get you to stop talking. Also, the answer is "no."
13
7
←Rate |
11-21-2010 08:58 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
So my teenage kids can just about do anything with a any phone or computer or camera. When I was that age I thought I was cool because I had a new cordless phone that stored 10 numbers, and I could sit outside with it within distance
13
7
←Rate |
11-23-2010 11:22 by
Kim
Comments (
0
)
Today is the 2nd day of the rest of your life. Sorry yesterday was the 1st day. Didn't you get the memo?
13
7
←Rate |
12-11-2013 12:25 by
Jiffy Pop
Comments (
0
)
If you have a frownie eat a brownie -My Grandma
13
7
←Rate |
12-14-2013 13:46
Comments (
0
)
I crammed 3 Christmas' s in 3 States within 2 days! I don't know how Santa does it!!!
13
7
←Rate |
12-27-2013 08:53 by
eakes.connie
Comments (
0
)
I have so many different drug habits, I had to write them all down in a book. I call it..,,........Addictionary.
13
7
←Rate |
02-01-2014 09:12 by
Nipper
Comments (
0
)
I would like to see a soccer player play real football and a real football player play soccer and see who cries first.
13
7
←Rate |
02-04-2014 10:34
Comments (
0
)
I would pick up a hitchhiker wearing an "I Heart Murder" t-shirt before I'd pick up a call from a blocked number.
13
7
←Rate |
12-22-2014 13:14 by
@uxbridgeguy
Comments (
0
)
This has been the worst Monday since last Monday.
13
7
←Rate |
03-23-2015 19:43
Comments (
0
)
the government can record anything anytime from your cell phone camera. They have a lot of footage of me pooping.
13
7
←Rate |
03-27-2015 20:36
Comments (
0
)
My first attempt as body piercing was the time I tried to squat with spurs on.
13
7
←Rate |
03-31-2015 16:28
Comments (
0
)
They say candles add a sensual ambiance, this my explain why I become aroused when I see a birthday cake
13
7
←Rate |
04-02-2015 16:59
Comments (
0
)
It turns out that using bowel grease is messier than using elbow grease ... damn dyslexia.
13
7
←Rate |
04-06-2015 18:15
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
2999
3000
3001
3002
3003
3004
3005
3006
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com