santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Yup.... No matter how old you are .... an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube will always become a Star Wars light saber.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Media is now reporting that Christmas is actually a Russian plot hatched by Putin & Trump to lure people into a false sense of Joy. They are urging that we reject any feelings of joy and focus on being angry at the 2016 Election results.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to know if Santa has you on his “nice” list,, or his “naughty” list,, Just ask Russia,,, and they'll just hack it for you.
←Rate | 12-16-2016 21:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bought all of my Christmas gifts really early this year, Hope everyone likes Halloween costumes
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I want for Christmas is you ...... Just kidding I want Money
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand why people buy Christmas trees just to throw them away a month later. Heck ... Do they think Christmas trees grow on trees?
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's Christmas list.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon SCORE!!! .... I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough....Well ... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ....... HA ... The liquor store clerk just wished me a Merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 12 more times before then.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...... .♫♪♫..... it's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas... ♫♪♫
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks real cool, hanging from my car's rear view mirror.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's time I go outside and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas - The time of year when you can get the whole dysfunctional family together under one roof!
←Rate | 12-13-2016 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Lexus commercials with the Christmas bow on the car never show the pissed off wife yelling "You're an idiot Tom! We can't afford this!"
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Christmas you can either join the Mile High club or the less prestigious Rock Bottom club, having sex on a Greyhound bus. If that's not rock bottom, I don't know what is.
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Christmas tree wasn't the only thing that got lit up last weekend!!
←Rate | 12-12-2016 11:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be honest....has ANYONE ever eaten the Fruit Cake they got for Christmas?
←Rate | 12-11-2016 23:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To any of my single Lady friends, if your wish to have me naked for Christmas, private message me. Thanks.
←Rate | 12-10-2016 13:54 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I Really tell Santa what I want for Christmas, Then I will definitely be on his naughty list ...
←Rate | 12-09-2016 23:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of these years in therapy have finally paid off folks... Turns out my therapist just recommended I get supervision this festive season. I have always wanted super powers! BEST Christmas present ever...
←Rate | 12-09-2016 23:06 Comments (0)  



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