aaron Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'aaron': View All Messages
Page: 3 of 46

   messageicon A good way to keep a secret from me is to leave it on my voicemail
←Rate | 10-30-2015 22:42 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
←Rate | 10-27-2015 21:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve had the time of my life like ten or eleven times now.
←Rate | 09-30-2015 18:41 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters
←Rate | 09-29-2015 21:40 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries.
←Rate | 09-29-2015 21:36 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It used to be called "House Depot" until they filled it with love.
←Rate | 09-29-2015 21:35 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walk into any flower shop and ask to see the chlamydias. That never gets old.
←Rate | 09-28-2015 20:00 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
←Rate | 09-28-2015 19:57 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the winner should aspire to greater things than a chicken dinner...
←Rate | 09-14-2015 20:37 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 21:21 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
←Rate | 07-03-2015 13:10 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before drinking an "energy drink", pause to consider this: How are you going to use that extra energy to better serve Christ?
←Rate | 07-02-2015 21:54 by Aaron Comments (4)  


   messageicon Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
←Rate | 06-26-2015 18:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not gonna be able to come out tonight I already sat down
←Rate | 06-17-2015 20:14 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Single guy "I can't do anything right." Married guy "I can't do anything, right?"
←Rate | 06-10-2015 21:41 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish there was some kind of signal drivers could use on their car to notify other drivers that they're turning.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 20:10 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You drive me to drink!" -I shout at my taxi driver.
←Rate | 05-06-2015 21:26 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You swallow 8 spiders a night" I repeat to myself over and over looking for more. I have only consumed 5. It's 4am. Dawn will break soon.
←Rate | 04-03-2015 17:32 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hold on I'm about to count my money. Alright I'm done.
←Rate | 04-03-2015 17:30 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they've been drinking in order to establish dominance.
←Rate | 03-13-2015 18:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left