CzovCzov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Without coffee and alcohol, we'd all hate each other a whole lot more.
←Rate | 12-04-2011 03:44 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't ask to use my Phone, and then start going through my photos, contacts, messages and call history, unless you want to meet God before I do.
←Rate | 12-05-2011 08:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a comedian, people don't care about you until you speak, then they like you. As a model it's the opposite.
←Rate | 12-05-2011 08:48 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some guy at work just asked me if I was homosexual. His exact words were "Do you like Twilight?"
←Rate | 12-07-2011 13:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call it an invitation to your wedding. I call it an invitation to free food and alcohol.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:20 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 12:45 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some relationships are like birthday cakes...Once the 'cake' has been eaten the party is over.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 15:04 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The less people you chill with, the less drama you deal with.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 01:31 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It must have been very awkward for the guy who invented the tampon when he had to explain his invention to everyone else.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have the ability to get wasted and function at the office appropriately the next day... it's my super power.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:15 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon No honey you are not fat. You are just too sexy that it overflows.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 07:22 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure I'll quit Facebook. Just as soon as someone teaches my 'real life' friends to be as funny and cool as my 'fake' Facebook friends!
←Rate | 12-15-2011 03:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 03:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how expensive the perfume a stripper wears, it will never cover up the smell of poor decision making.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 12:22 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You laugh because you think it's a joke. I laugh because you think I'm joking.
←Rate | 12-18-2011 14:55 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock against the wall in the morning is the fact that it's also my cellphone.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't take a joke, don't walk around looking like one.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't play "Hard To Get" , I play "It's Never Going To Happen"
←Rate | 12-19-2011 12:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's up to you to find the beauty in the ugliest day.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 13:11 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are not at the table, you are probably on the menu.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 02:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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