father OR dad Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The Democrats finally came forward and ruined Chelsey Clinton's life with the news that Janet Reno is actually her father.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 07:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do we sleep in church, but stay awake through a 2 hour movie?? Why is it so hard to talk to God, but so easy to gossip??Jesus said "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny YOU in front of my Father.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 03:59 by SAM RABEE Comments (4)  

   messageicon Little girl asked her father,do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time?The father replied,No, some begin with - If elected I promise..
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In the rest of World When The boy meets the father its a Nice warm Welcome. In the south, The dad comes out with a gun and says boy you better treat my daughter right.(:
←Rate | 08-12-2010 22:13 by BEGO Comments (2)  

   messageicon In the past seven days, 1 friend of mine gave birth, 1 buried his father, 1 buried her brother, 1 died, 1 got divorced, 2 got married, 1 quit his job, 1 got fired and 6 celebrated birthdays. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm f*cking exhausted.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 09:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Any boy can be a dad but only a real man can be a father
←Rate | 08-25-2010 14:40 Comments (2)  

   messageicon No clean cereal bowls? Line a strainer with plastic wrap. Laziness is the father of invention.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 09:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't care what happens when FATHER catches DAUGHTER on her WEBCAM! Stop posting that darn link to my wall!!
←Rate | 09-19-2010 08:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maury: "Darth Vader, you.... ARE the father." Luke: "Nooooo!"
←Rate | 09-25-2010 14:39 by Russell Bilaknockified Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't fear dating a younger woman, it's her father and his shotgun I have problems with.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 01:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not sure what's worse.... finding out Darth Vader is your father or remembering that the day before you were trying to f*ck your sister??
←Rate | 10-07-2010 14:54 by levon Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that the mother and father bear from Goldilocks and the 3 bears had some relationship issues as evident from the fact that they had separate beds!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 22:36 by Tarwadi Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please don't tell my Father that I work in the oil patch..he thinks I'm a piano player in a whore house.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 23:51 by goodeolboy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Condom Ad: if you are not 100% satisfied with our product, Happy Father's Day!!
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Going to dress up as Maury Povich and visit the hospital delivery room telling the guy he is not the father.
←Rate | 10-29-2010 00:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon you're only real job as a father is to keep your daughter off the pole
←Rate | 11-11-2010 10:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
←Rate | 11-12-2010 13:10 by Hannibal Comments (0)  

   messageicon (With French accent) Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
←Rate | 11-15-2010 01:40 Comments (3)  

   messageicon What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? “If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!”
←Rate | 11-24-2010 07:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand some people. It's Black Friday. I just passed a black family at Costco. I shook the father's hand and wished them all a Happy Holiday. The father asked me what's wrong with me.
←Rate | 11-26-2010 13:21 by RedDog58 Comments (0)  

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