jcgj Funny Status Messages

   Hey, did you have a good time last night? It was Smurf-tacular! Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette. As we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me. Shut the Smurf up! Yeah! Right in the Smurfing parking lot? Smurf-Yeah! Oh! That is freaking Smurf

   But it's a Stress Ball, I thought I was suppose to throw it at who, or whatever was stressing me out . .when I seen the blue and red lights flashing, and that loud siren. . . .wait, wha? How am I suppose throw it with hand-cuffs.

   “Catch me outside, how about that?

   With you, may the fourth be — Yoda

   Merry hammered people! I'm Christmas!

   Christmas - The time of year when you can get the whole dysfunctional family together under one roof!

   Take my wife....... for example !!!

   I put in an URGENT REQUEST to Santa last night for a mirror so you can locate that STICK that's UP YOUR @$S and REMOVE IT!!

   Word on the street is, Cookie Monster has tested positive for COVID. It's the Om nom nom nomicron variant.

   Maaaaay The 4th Be With You

   In other news… Elon Musk is now going to also buy McDonald's so he can fix all the ice cream machines.

   Strong with this fourth day of may, the force is — Yoda

   I swear I can feel my brain buffering.

   Lotto Max is up to a full tank of gas and a buggy load of groceries.

   How am I supposed to explain Daylight Savings Time to my neighbors dog?

   I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss. 😁

   Don't honk at me asshole, I'm not on my phone. I missed the light change because I was trying to get that last french fry at the bottom of the box. 🍟 😒