jcgj Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Hey, did you have a good time last night? It was Smurf-tacular! Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette. As we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me. Shut the Smurf up! Yeah! Right in the Smurfing parking lot? Smurf-Yeah! Oh! That is freaking Smurf
←Rate | 07-27-2011 16:56 by jcgj Comments (0)  

   messageicon But it's a Stress Ball, I thought I was suppose to throw it at who, or whatever was stressing me out . .when I seen the blue and red lights flashing, and that loud siren. . . .wait, wha? How am I suppose throw it with hand-cuffs.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 16:55 by jcgj Comments (1)  

   messageicon “Catch me outside, how about that?
←Rate | 01-26-2017 11:19 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon With you, may the fourth be — Yoda
←Rate | 05-03-2022 23:31 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Merry hammered people! I'm Christmas!
←Rate | 12-24-2016 22:42 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas - The time of year when you can get the whole dysfunctional family together under one roof!
←Rate | 12-13-2016 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Take my wife....... for example !!!
←Rate | 06-10-2012 01:06 by jcgj Comments (0)  

   messageicon I put in an URGENT REQUEST to Santa last night for a mirror so you can locate that STICK that's UP YOUR @$S and REMOVE IT!!
←Rate | 12-19-2019 19:36 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Word on the street is, Cookie Monster has tested positive for COVID. It's the Om nom nom nomicron variant.
←Rate | 04-16-2022 00:05 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maaaaay The 4th Be With You
←Rate | 05-04-2022 17:39 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon In other news… Elon Musk is now going to also buy McDonald's so he can fix all the ice cream machines.
←Rate | 05-03-2022 17:16 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Strong with this fourth day of may, the force is — Yoda
←Rate | 05-03-2022 23:30 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I swear I can feel my brain buffering.
←Rate | 11-04-2022 20:53 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lotto Max is up to a full tank of gas and a buggy load of groceries.
←Rate | 07-28-2022 20:10 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon How am I supposed to explain Daylight Savings Time to my neighbors dog?
←Rate | 11-04-2022 20:42 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss. 😁
←Rate | 07-14-2022 17:22 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't honk at me asshole, I'm not on my phone. I missed the light change because I was trying to get that last french fry at the bottom of the box. 🍟 😒
←Rate | 05-24-2022 14:23 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


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