Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 3 of 6259

When your landlord finds all your dog collars and leashes, but you don’t have a dog. ~ I’m a kinky girl, I’m a very kinky girl.
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05-29-2022 00:38
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Spanish word of the day: Beach. Joe Biden is China’s little beach.
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07-03-2022 06:37
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The Girl Scouts are just a cookie company that gets away with child labor.
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04-20-2022 02:02
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In France you don’t say “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which means “you are missing from me.” I love that.
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04-19-2022 10:42
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The bird flu? I hope so.
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04-19-2022 11:14
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If she starts drawing shapes on your chest after sex, just get up and leave. A very stupid question is coming.
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07-03-2022 06:38
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To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of hearer as well as those of the speaker.
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07-03-2022 06:40
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Tonight’s Powerball Jackpot is up to a full tank of gas and a buggy load of groceries.
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07-03-2022 06:37
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I do not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend until death your right to say it.
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07-03-2022 06:40
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Her: Undress me with your words. Him: There’s a spider in your bra.
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06-08-2022 01:38
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When they can no longer control you, they will try to control what others think of you.
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06-24-2022 23:12
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Whistleblower comes forward with claims that strangers drag him from place to place, make him sign papers, read words on monitors and he hardly gets any ice cream.
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05-22-2022 03:45
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I was born a male and I identify as a male, but according to Stouffers portions, I'm a family of four.
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06-07-2022 12:07
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Everybody sucks at driving but me.
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07-03-2022 06:36
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China Hut: People that don’t like cats, just haven’t had them prepared properly.
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06-08-2022 01:36
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Jurassic World is about a pharma company that uses a DNA-altering pathogen to destroy farmland and deliberately cause a worldwide food crisis to force everyone to buy their products. Science Fiction is Fun!
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06-20-2022 03:31
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A satisfied life is better than a successful life. Because our success is measured by others, our satisfaction is measured by our own hearts, minds, and souls.
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06-24-2022 23:13
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A lot of people like BBQ ribs, but I make it look like an episode of the Walking Dead.
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06-07-2022 17:21
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Never trust a girl named Natasha. Because, Natasha spelled backwards is “ah Satan.”
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06-08-2022 01:36
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I’m old school, I still believe in respect.
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06-10-2022 01:41
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