Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Lori Loughlin is wondering how the Coronavirus got into Princeton and her kid didn’t.
←Rate | 03-19-2020 08:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can’t call it “pandemic” unless it’s from the Pandemic region of France, otherwise it’s just Sparkling Flu
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My current diet is similar to a 9yr old who just found $20.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you’re asking me to choose sides, I’ll always choose potato salad.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 08:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "buttcheeks" one word or should I spread them apart?
←Rate | 10-08-2019 17:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can always tell someone's age by watching them get out of a car.
←Rate | 02-27-2020 11:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Due to the Quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.
←Rate | 03-22-2020 08:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m gonna tell you something right now, tis not the time to have allergies.
←Rate | 03-19-2020 08:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Realtor line of the day: "Folks can you see yourself quarantined in this beautiful 4 bedroom home?
←Rate | 03-26-2020 11:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The year is 2025. The few survivors of the great plague of 2020 roam the irradiated wastelands of the planet, singing Happy Birthday to themselves constantly. Nobody really remembers why.
←Rate | 03-05-2020 16:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m really liking this social distancing rule. Can we make this law?
←Rate | 03-18-2020 08:56 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
←Rate | 07-31-2018 09:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just bought a JVC LCD 4K 3D UHD TV. The rest of the alphabet was out of stock.
←Rate | 08-23-2017 14:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Grandpa: In my day we worked three times as hard. Me: In your day soda contained cocaine.
←Rate | 06-01-2019 19:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a nice person.
←Rate | 12-31-2019 19:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon And just like that, people on Facebook went from being politicians to being epidemiologists.
←Rate | 03-11-2020 10:45 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wife: how did you get all that dirt under your fingernails? Me: it's brownies..
←Rate | 03-03-2020 09:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If the world was flat like some people say my girlfriend's cat would have pushed me off the edge years ago.
←Rate | 03-05-2020 16:00 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Macarena was just a tutorial on how to fold a sweater.
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon St Patrick's Day resulted in the least DUI's ever.
←Rate | 03-18-2020 10:11 Comments (0)  

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