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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says So the Pope has parted ways with the Mafia? I love how humans picks other humans to lord over them.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 23:08 Comments (0)


X says The Pope has excommunicated the Mafia? When will the internal struggles end within the Roman church. Can't they all just get along like the one big family that they are?
←Rate | 06-22-2014 22:46 Comments (0)


X says Sticks and Stones and Trademarks may break my bones
←Rate | 06-22-2014 22:45 Comments (0)


X says How the heck can people get so excited over a game that can end in a tie? Is it gratifying when you're kissing your sister as well?
←Rate | 06-22-2014 22:08 by mike Comments (0)




X Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 21:15 Comments (0)


X I love scary movies. I've seen Ghostbusters at least 6 times.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 21:13 Comments (0)


X says Sing it with me! I ...... I believe.... I believe that they just tied. I believe that they just tied. I believe that they just tied.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 20:14 by This is dumb. Comments (0)


X Back in the 60's the pot called the kettle a different word.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 18:37 Comments (0)


X says Beauty lies in the eye of the beer-holder.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 16:13 Comments (0)


X says Sorry I told you I could tell you don't give your husband BJs from the look he had in your family portrait.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 14:00 Comments (0)


X says I get all my dating advice from my Wife's boyfriend. Then I do the opposite.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:59 Comments (0)


X says At least pizza won't keep you up at night with it's loud snoring
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:58 Comments (0)


X says Soccer would probably be a lot more popular in the USA if they put cheerleaders on the sidelines, ran with a football, and scored touchdowns
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:57 Comments (1)


X says Fake boobs should have squeaky toys put in them.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:54 Comments (0)


X says Every time I think I'm ready for a serious relationship again, I just remember that I like having sex
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:35 Comments (0)


X says Anything you can do I'll b*tch about later.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:34 Comments (0)


X says I'm looking forward to avoiding spending time with you
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:33 Comments (0)


X says Never ask yourself "Can I do this?" Instead, ask yourself "Where can I take a nap?"
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:25 Comments (0)


X says She loves me *pluck* She loves me not *pluck* What? This bird only has two wings?
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:13 by Baddie Comments (0)


X says I don't Always wear my glasses but when I do I can see properly.
←Rate | 06-22-2014 13:08 Comments (0)


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