Funny Status Messages | Status Message Generator | Recent Comments | Chuck Norris Sayings

Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
Oldest | Recent | Rating
Filter On | Filter Off
Search Messages:
Page: 247 of 4787

X says When your girlfriend says "Oh HE is my best friend" your relationship is already over
←Rate | 04-19-2014 19:00 Comments (0)

X says Religion is a crutch for weak-minded people who can't accept reality
←Rate | 04-19-2014 17:02 Comments (0)

X I had lunch today with a woman. Okay, so the woman was on a TV show eating at the same time I was. Okay, so the woman was Berta from Two and a Half Men.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 16:31 by Mickey Comments (0)

X Since irons are like 1000 degrees, who's bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made??
←Rate | 04-19-2014 15:39 Comments (0)

X says did Jesus died for Bin Laden's sins too?
←Rate | 04-19-2014 15:19 Comments (1)

X Non-religious people are idiots
←Rate | 04-19-2014 14:47 by MWC Comments (0)

X Jesus was the only man to return from the dead and not eat brains.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 14:05 Comments (0)

X says It is so weak, so convenient, and so easy to disparage Christianity here.there is a profoundness and goodness about Easter that many here are to lazy and shallow to consider.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 13:42 by Johnny\'s Comments (0)

X It's amazing how the brain works. I heard a song that I haven't heard in about ten years and I remembered it word for word. Yet when it came to my exams I barely even remembered how to hold my pen.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 13:09 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)

X omg black saturday makes me feel so awkward
←Rate | 04-19-2014 12:09 Comments (0)

X says If god gived us free will, why does everything, I mean everything we do a sin? He should have just made robots.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 12:01 Comments (0)

X says She died doing what she loved! Telling me how to drive.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 09:51 Comments (0)

X Lol religious people are nuts
←Rate | 04-19-2014 09:17 Comments (1)

X says I had hoped my facebook page wouldn't lead to stalkers, but some girl named Sallie Mae found my number and has been calling me for months.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 08:58 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

X says i got distracted by something and missed my ADHD meeting again.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 08:51 Comments (0)

X says Jesus IS the son of God and God's not dead. Stop living a self absorbed life holding to the flaeed ever-changing religion of Science. it is time that you understand that you are not the one in control.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 08:12 Comments (3)

X says Are you on a date with me or with your phone? Just make sure that phone pays your share of this bill by the end of the night.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 04:32 Comments (0)

X says MILEY CYRUS tour officially over:-CNN. *Sighh* CNN thank you for putting it as a headline.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 01:26 Comments (0)

X says Jesus was just either a good salesman or a good magician. Stop basing your life on a myth. Learn to face reality and deal with your problems like an adult and stop leaving them in the hands of a non-existent entity.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 01:16 Comments (5)

X says I love to laugh but on this day I am remembering the Love and Sacrifice that Jesus did so that we could be saved.Amen !!
←Rate | 04-18-2014 23:02 Comments (0)

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left