Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says I don’t think my neighbor watches porn. She asked if I could fix her sink. I’ve been here for an hour and I’m still fixing her sink.
X says There is nothing more painful than watching the new girl make the sandwiches at Subways.
X says I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
X says I channel my white side when I'm approached by the cops..
X So, that's $27 million for ALS research? Feels great!!
X says my vodka just did the ice bucket challenge.
X says I've decided that I'm never going to get back to my original weight and I'm OK with that. After all, 6 lbs 7 oz. isn't a realistic expectation.
X says ALS Foundation admits that only 27% of donations are used for research!!! How's that bucket of ice feel now?
X says I hear 50 Cent and Floyd Mayweather are going to settle their feud in the ring. I'd actually pay to see that fight- I bet if I was lucky enough to catch one of 50 Cent's teeth I could sell it on eBay.
X says 50 Cent OR Floyd Mayweather Jnr - Let see which side Justin Beaver will choose
X Dating site for overweight people: All you can meet.
X says McDonald's is changing their slogan form "We made it yesterday" to "Old, Cold, and Sold to you".
X GOOD NEWS EVERYONE,,, Comedy Central has just secured the rights to show all of the NY JETS regular season.
X I may be married to the sea, but I'm seeing 2 of the Great Lakes on the side,,, Yeah,, it's Erie how Superior they are.
X I bet Hell has the same toilet paper as airports.
X Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life
X says Wedding cake…One last reminder of what it was like to shove something in her mouth.
X says I'm in it for the long run, as long as running isn't involved.
X says Michael Jackson could do a very realistic Thriller video right now.
X says Relationship Status: After carefully weighing the options. Willing to give loneliness a try.