Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Don't stand up for the national anthem = USA hater. Don't stand up & pay taxes to support the national infrastructure = genius businessman?
←Rate | 10-05-2016 05:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Obama loves the Poor so much that he created Millions more.
←Rate | 10-04-2016 18:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I find it interesting that the same people that are telling me that Donald Trump would be a bad President are the same people who told us that Barack Obama would be a Good President!!!
←Rate | 10-04-2016 18:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It turns out Liberals are "Latinophobes" .... You ever notice how they always say they are moving to Canada if Trump gets elected? Why don't they ever say they're moving to Mexico? Yup ... Latinophobes!!!
←Rate | 10-04-2016 18:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hillary: What kind of genius loses one billion dollars in one year? Answer: What kind of genius loses 6 billion dollars, 4 American Lives, A Laptop, 4 Cellphones, Three Tablets, & 33,000 emails all while serving as Secretary of State?
←Rate | 10-04-2016 18:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope the guy who stole my Debit Card enjoys his $12.69 shopping spree.
←Rate | 10-04-2016 18:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Got so bored at work today I actually started doing my job!!!
←Rate | 10-04-2016 18:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A true beer drinker never look at his beer as Half Empty .... He looks at it as Half way to his Next Beer ...
←Rate | 10-04-2016 18:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon *shines flashlight under chin... 'And the phones were attached to the walls and didn't have cameras'.... *teenagers scream. Two pass out
←Rate | 10-04-2016 17:35 by Snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm old enough to remember using the ash tray in cars for cigarette butts ..
←Rate | 10-04-2016 15:16 by LameO Jamie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Of course Trump hasn't doesn't pay taxes... He knows ALL the good loopholes,, Like, "Mail order brides are tax deductible"
←Rate | 10-04-2016 13:12 by Snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trump suggests soldiers suffering from PTSD aren't mentally strong.. But EVERYONE knows the true sign of mental strength, is faking bone spurs to avoid serving in Vietnam.
←Rate | 10-04-2016 13:10 by Snotty Comments (1)  

   messageicon I just apologized to a bug for killing it and I instantly became a Canadian citizen.
←Rate | 10-04-2016 06:33 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon Frankly Auto-correct, I am getting tired of your shirt!
←Rate | 10-04-2016 06:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon That moment when you want to hit on the bank teller but realize she'll see your bank account balance
←Rate | 10-04-2016 01:19 by rtw Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do I have to hear about these Clowns for 28 more days? O me bad make that 35 more days my math is not so good anymore.
←Rate | 10-03-2016 17:41 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your in the grocery store with your new iphone 7 and pay with food stamps don't be surprised when I slap that phone out of your hand.
←Rate | 10-03-2016 17:05 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  

   messageicon These robbers did not need guns, they could have threatened Kim K to put her clothes back on and she would have still fully cooperated.
←Rate | 10-03-2016 15:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Heard those ruthless and heartless thieves forced Kim K to put her clothes on first before robbing her.
←Rate | 10-03-2016 14:54 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trump loses almost $1 Billion in the 90's and follows the relevant Tax Laws ..... The Nation is Outraged!! .... Hillary can't account for $6 Billion in missing State Department funds during her Tenure as Secretary of State ..... Meh
←Rate | 10-03-2016 14:30 Comments (0)  

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