Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says So if a cow dies of old age after a long and happy life, vegetarians are allowed to eat it, right?
X says How to tell if your wife/girlfriend will overreact: Is she a girl?
X says Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
X says Wife: Silent Me: What's wrong? Wife: Nothing Me: Grabs shield and sword
X says A group of contradictions is called a “Bible.”
X If your face doesn't look like a glazed donut ..your doing it wrong.
X says Keyboard worshippers are at it again this sunday morning.
X I once dated a meteorologist just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
X what do you call a nun with alzheimers?? a roamin catholic.
X "Dog food lid" spelled backwards is "dildo of God"
X says Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
X If the Lord is always with me, that dude's sat through a lot of jacking off.
X For the first time in NBA finals history, there was 3 game 7s. Even more fascinating is that Donald Sterling cant attend any of them!
X says I don't have a horse running in the Derby but my money is on Sarah Jessica Parker.
X says I must not be real stupid, television has not made me famous yet!
X Please spare a thought for the man who told his wife he was going on a business trip to China on that Malaysian Airlines Flight No MH. 370, and now can't come out of his girlfriend's apartment. (Ever)
X says My drivers license is just a piece of paper that says I'm not Asian
X says Sex so good, you call off the restraining order.
X says Rodney King said, "Can we all get along? The answer is no because too many people make a very good living making sure we don't....right, Reverend Al?
X says Sometimes when I see an airplane passing over I just wish I were on it and didn't care where it was going.