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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
←Rate | 02-08-2014 02:28 Comments (0)

X The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the women
←Rate | 02-08-2014 02:27 Comments (1)

X You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 02:25 Comments (0)

X Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
←Rate | 02-08-2014 02:23 Comments (0)

X McDonalds sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 02:19 Comments (0)

X What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 02:15 Comments (0)

X Waffles are just Pancakes with abs.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 02:11 Comments (0)

X says This is stupid. It's been 3 days with this. I'm going elsewhere.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 01:22 Comments (0)

X says Mr. I'm so not funny, you're as funny as a pile of rhino crap...hahahahaha stupid
←Rate | 02-08-2014 01:02 Comments (0)

X Went to the grocery store with my sister and she got kicked out because she was complaining that all the bananas were bent...
←Rate | 02-07-2014 23:33 by MWC Comments (0)

X says Even if they don't win any medals, at least Team USA can be guaranteed victory in future ugly sweater contests.
←Rate | 02-07-2014 23:33 by TC Comments (0)

X says This hahaha guy just ignore him and dont rate his post he will be b gone. Trust me
←Rate | 02-07-2014 23:17 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says Yesterday I went to see a shrink about my Facebook addiction, everything was going smoothly and I was on the road to recovery until he asked me, What's on your mind? Damn it
←Rate | 02-07-2014 23:15 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says Very disappointed that Nikolai Volkov wasn't selected to light the Olympic flame
←Rate | 02-07-2014 23:15 by migasjoe Comments (0)

X says Before telling your woman a PMS joke, you should assure she does not currently have PMS.
←Rate | 02-07-2014 21:54 Comments (0)

X says We can't help but to start liking the girls that become our good friends. Too hard to find girls that just like to have fun these days.
←Rate | 02-07-2014 21:52 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says Parents have no idea what it's like to be a teenager in our generationÂ…
←Rate | 02-07-2014 21:51 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says Since Kanye wants to write a song named 'I Am God' I wanna see him bring his dead mother back to life again.
←Rate | 02-07-2014 21:50 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says Fri(end) Girlfri(end) Boyfri(end) Br(forever)o
←Rate | 02-07-2014 21:49 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says that bowlof green chili burned a hole in my as
←Rate | 02-07-2014 21:36 Comments (0)

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