Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says I'll think I'll bring my taser to work today to liven things up a bit.
X says I think I was born during the wrong time in history. I woulda been hot as a cavewoman.
X says Maybe Aliens have not visited us on earth yet because they're all females and they want us to make the first move.
X says But sir, in your bio it is clearly mentioned that you are funny. How then?
X says Hey look at me! Hey Stop staring at me weirdo! - women
X says So apparently your girlfriend isn't supposed to have an Adams apple. Guess that's why she only wanted an@l.
X says No thanks, bodybuilder chicks with clits that look like a baby's pen*s
X says ~ Creationisn: Because it's easier to read and believe one book than read several ones based on scientific fact.
X says I'm sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can't I do the same for Easter!!!??
X Creationism vs. Darwinism: I love science, yet until they can settle the age old question, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"....I'm siding with Creationism.
X says Change your wifi password to blowmefirst, then wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.
X says Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should haved died in 1732.
X says I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor
X "I'd like to apologize now for not liking your posts that I" stole as an update or ..
X says If it's fat, drunk, and slow, it must be Chicago
X says It's hard to be your prince charming when you'd rather just fool around with all 12 of the dwarves.
X says BREAKING NEWS: Vladimir Putin moves two Boy Scout Troops to the Russian/Polish boarder. France surrendered
X says I got the moves like Jagger, and the medical bills to prove it.
X Being married means you never hav--- WOULD YOU QUIT CHEWING SO GODDAMN LOUD?
X says I wonder if Ralph Wilson's funeral will be blacked out?