Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says My secret special ingredient herb for my stuffing is, Marijuana. . .
X says Took my girlfriend window shopping. She’s just looking at a bunch of shoes we haven’t even bought a window yet :(
X says Even if I had an antidote for fixing stupid people I won't cure them, why should I kill the entertainment of my life.
X says When in doubt, take a nap.
X says The longer your day is..... the longer the orgasm should be.
X says I want to see a volcano erupt because I have an interest in geology. I want to see one erupt under your house because you're an a$$hole
X says I am black and I still think Kanye West is the biggest Douche of the Century!
X says If knowing is half the battle, maybe its time to admit that you are losing the war.
X says Protip: If your turkey tastes like bird flavored jello, it is undercooked.
X says I wear my heart on my sleeve and my lunch on the entire front part.
X says "If you've been hurt in a car wreck you need someone who will fight to get you the money you deserve. I will pee on your bed." - cat lawyer
X says So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news' annual turkey fryer accident story?
X says I just called. To say. I texted you.
X says Cringing in regret is my cardio
X says Just saw a store that already has Easter decorations out
X says BREAKING: PETA releases shock video of tiger, caught by toe, being detained despite hollering.
X says Sometimes I feel like cashier's find a certain joy in letting things run down the conveyer belt and then stopping it right after I decide to stop it 007 style with the person in front of me.
X We cover every dish we take to Grandma's house with aluminum foil. That way the Aliens wont be able to know what we're eating this time.
X says I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘man, just be yourself.
X says Obama want you to talk about Obamacare over the Thanksgiving table to get more to register......that program is still hanging on by a wing and a prair!