Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or Whatsapp profile.

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   messageicon When I get a girl I'm gonna show her off. Guys who think being sweet to their girl is lame have that childish mindstate.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't grab your girls booty at least 46 times a day, you're living life all wrong.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When girls are mad at you, there's a typo in every word 'cuz they texting so fast.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most women don't even need to workout. Y'all burn enough calories jumping to conclusions.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




   messageicon Sometimes you just gotta text your ex and remind them they ain't sh*t... Just in case they forgot.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say 'Netflix & Chill' sometimes I mean that. Stop kissin' my neck and watch this serial killer documentary with me or get the tf out.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever see your girl smiling at her phone, she probably laughing at my posts and picturing our life together after she leaves you.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon From now on, if we text longer than a week, we better fall in love. If not, you paying my phone bill for wasting my unlimited texts.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't text me after 11 pm unless you're offering me sex or bringing me food.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you gotta look thru someone's phone, you shouldn't be with 'em. Quit being insecure, that sh*t is unattractive.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Winter is coming. Women about to steal your heart and your hoodie.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If 90's R&B comes on in the bedroom, we making a baby. I don't care.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care if you catch me creeping your page. I'll like 74 of your posts in a row, what you gonna do about it.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kill that blower or blow that killer.... Whatever
←Rate | 10-08-2015 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently you have to eat healthy more than once to get in shape. This is cruel and unfair.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 08:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 06:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I live with fear every day.....sometimes she lets me go fishing!
←Rate | 10-08-2015 05:21 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everytime Kayne is caught smiling he has to be a cheerleader at a college football game!
←Rate | 10-08-2015 00:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mar7hall vs BEiO They are back like 2 years ago.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 00:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an appointment with a psychiatrist over some rental property I just acquired. I think I have an apartment complex.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 20:28 Comments (0)  



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