Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says 60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don't give a sh*t about it..
X says If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some single women have more than one baby daddy?
X says Your hair smells like it wants pulling.
X says It's ok to admit when you're wrong. Just don't tell anyone.
X says Hell hath no fury like a woman misunderstood.
X says Party like your intervention is tomorrow.
X says first day of spring break and I have f all to do
X says why does the drive-thru ATM have braille?....what blind person is driving a car?
X I searched Google, Bing and Yahoo on the word Impotence and nothing came up?
X I saw an ad on a dating site called: Friends With Benefits. So I made a date, and it went well...right up to when I said, "Ok, I'll be your friend, now where's my health plan?" She got PO'd. Why? What's so bad about that?
X says I don’t know a lot, but I know Facebook is as helpful as a football bat.
X I thought lubing my arse with vegetable oil would make my poop come out faster, but I just slipped off the toilet and shat on the floor.. :(
X says I named my dìck truth, because bìtchès can't handle it.
X says You can't be ugly and play hard to get... You're already hard to want.
X says Racism makes as much sense as saying I don't want that gift because of the color of the wrapping paper.
X Hey McDonald's, here's an add to fire back at Taco Bell: Eat at McDonald's, you won't sh.. your pants. -your welcome.
X Bumped and grinded last night.....my head on bed post and my teeth
X A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
X says Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
X says Facebook got 2 billion to burn even though the site is 90% candy crush requests & fake news that tricked your grandma.