Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X Oh...Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween they say. I guess they don't appreciate random stangers coming to their front door.
X says A recent study determined the number one reason couples divorce is marriage. . .
X says This is gonna date me, but I remember when people used turn signals to notify other drivers of their intentions.
X Wouldn’t it be great if people could only get AIDS from being a Politician who screws with the economy and causes a Government Shutdown?
X The secret to life is to always do whatever's next.
X Statistics show that married men live a lot longer than single men. However married men are a lot more willing to die.
X At my age I only have two goals: to keep working a real job and to keep flossing real teeth.
X says Promiscuous wizards often get staff infections. bippity, boppity, BOOOOO! HAPPY HALLOWEEN
X says I did very much enjoy the week long 'Almost Human" promotional movie. I loved the commercials that had the baseball too.
X says Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those Chinese food condiment packets.
X Let the Red Sox annoyance begin.....ugh!
X Time to party like it's 1918.
X says I never know how many Ramen Noodle seasoning packets to save throughout the year for Halloween treats, but I think I have enough.
X says Getting high on life has never helped me get a handjob in a toilet stall.
X says Allen Iverson has retired more times than he practiced
X Tomorrow I'm going to the homeless shelter and getting me some 2013 St Louis Cardinals World Series Champions shirts for free..
X I never wear a Halloween costume. I'm a character all year long!
X I'm hungry,, but the only thing in my fridge is Zuul.
X Happy Halloween! Bring on the booze!!
X The one where Scooby doo dies in the van because Fred forgot to crack a window.