Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 22 of 6371
I said to the waiter, "This fish is dry." And he said, "Yes sir, we had to take it out of the water."
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08-28-2023 16:09
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Hurricane Idalia is slowly heading north at 8 mph. Kinda like a person of color driving in the left lane on I-95.
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08-28-2023 14:01
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The attendees at classic rock concerts are getting so old that I have to make sure I'm at a music venue instead of the Early Bird Special at Denny's.
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08-28-2023 11:29 by McFizz
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Stressed spelled backwards is desserts . . . . It all makes sense now
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08-28-2023 08:15
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Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
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08-27-2023 12:30
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Two hundred fifteen pounds? More like five hundred pounds.
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08-25-2023 13:24
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But the baby bear said, "My porridge is just right. My porridge is just right." That bear's repeating.
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08-25-2023 12:36
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Little people gets paid under the table
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08-25-2023 09:54
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Social Networking: Facebook has degraded to displaying women's behinds playing golf and bowling?
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08-25-2023 06:37 by M
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The worst marketing blunder in history was not putting cassette decks in cell phones.
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08-24-2023 13:20
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There'd be no reason to see a doctor if WebMD gave out prescriptions.
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08-24-2023 12:07
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I can't understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
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08-24-2023 12:06
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Disney World is a lot like Viagra. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
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08-24-2023 12:04
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The way I just scratched my back on the corner of the wall, leads me to believe I would have been an above average stripper.
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08-24-2023 09:17 by RobbieG
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What is the noise you hear when it’s really quiet?
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08-24-2023 00:35
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If genitals don't define gender, how does removing them affirm it?
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08-23-2023 07:42
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If you have enough leather watches, you can buckle them all together and make a belt, but that would be a waist of time.
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08-22-2023 21:12
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Take your age and add 5 years to it. That's how old you'll be in 5 years.
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08-22-2023 18:22
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Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
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08-21-2023 09:23 by RobbieG
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I've reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail.
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08-21-2023 04:02
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