RobbieG Funny Status Messages

   Honestly, I think pregnancy test commercials would be a whole lot more authentic if they showed two single people high-fiving when it’s negative

   Most problems can be solved with nudity

   Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

   Has Missouri ever done a tourism ad with the slogan ‘Missouri Loves Company?’ If not, what is even the point of Missouri?

   The way I just scratched my back on the corner of the wall, leads me to believe I would have been an above average stripper.

   I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.

   At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Oreo Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?

   There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those losers has decided to become Batman

   Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.

   I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in

   Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember