Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   troubled by the thought of being not able to write a sensible status message

   's status message is better than yours

   hates your extended network.

   "somewhere in the land of Oz, picking on a scarecrow. "

   the whitest kid you know.

   FUBAR

   "serious, and don't call me Shirley "

   stimulating his package.

   saving a lot on his child support by switching to condoms.

   "the ""she"" in ""that's what she said""! "

   big in Japan

   HUGE in Europe!

   with the girl next door

   up to no good.

   partying like a rock star.

   at the gym pretending to get a good workout.

   hacked your Facebook

   gonna live forever... or die trying!

   friends in low places.

   99% fat free