Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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The way my kids freak out on Christmas morning, that's the way I feel right before I open my breakfast beer! 
I don't know about you but I'm that guy who will strike up a conversation with you while waiting in a long line.Tell a joke to all the people standing there to change their day and mine also. I enjoy people..... and life is too short!
Funny how the russians are so anti gay, yet they got a metal in mens figure skating
knows Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...
And now, a few words by Stevie Wonder... ".. ...:.. ::.... .. . .:.:: ... :.::..." Pretty deep right? I damn near cried when he said, ".:.:: ... :.::..."
From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way you tighten and loosen mmm..NEW SHOES
finally done with his taxes and has come to the conclusion that taxation WITH respresentation isn't that great either!
funniest joke ever... 2 women sitting on a bench minding their own business saying nothing
Move like Michael Jackson, Tonight on BBC 3, Is a contest,to find out who can move like Micheal Jackson....Am I alone in thinking,that really all the winner needs to do,is lie down & be still for half an hour ?
Rihanna should date Lebron... he never beats anyone.
All those years of phone sex has caught up with my grandfather. He has hearing AIDS
The brochure for my new camera says that the shutter speed is so fast that you can photograph a hummingbirds wings in flight, or a woman with her mouth shut
I think most of Adele's songs are about a cheeseburger.
Omicron is an anagram for Moronic. They are straight up messing with us at this point.
had his left side removed. He's all right now
The black iPhone is better at stealing WiFi.
Are yall gonna watch Biden and the state of delusion address
drinking at the bar so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you... but I've never driven a bus before.
Some people are still alive today only because it's against the law to kill them
I hear my neighbor is holding her Saturday night mass. "Oh god! "Oh lord!" Oh jesus!" 