Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   knows Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...

   Why are Gay people so sensitive? If you can take a d*ck, surely you can take a joke..

   White girls get pregnant and get their own season of 16 and Pregnant but when Black girls get pregnant they get 30 minutes of Maury.

   Am I the only one who calculates how many hours sleep I can get before I go to sleep?!

   congrats to obama's teleprompter on its best supporting win at the oscars last night

   What does the nfl and brokeback mountain have in common? Cowboys that suck

   playing marco polo with random people

   well America looks like you can kill little girls and get away with it these days...Who wants to track down Bieber with me?

   If your boyfriend can't bench press you then you have a girlfriend.

   Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..

   .i. love \i/

   :I think I'm going to start calling other white guys "my Cracker" And get angry when black guys say it... No?

   I wanna go to Africa to see where rappers come from.

   "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer: "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

   Now remember, what happens in Vegas stays, in Vegas... Except herpes, that will come back with you.

   People who are, "Just sayin'" should try, "Just shutting the f**k up."

   I hope that the three brothers who kidnapped and held those girls for so long suffer immensely for the rest of their lives in prison.

   China into Taiwan next. You heard it here first.

   I expect all atheists to be at work bright and early tomorrow...

   search "google gravity" and then click "I'm feeling lucky"!!! :)