love Funny Status Messages
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The big movies right now in theaters are Robocop, Endless Love, and About Last Night. I feel like it's the end of the 80s all over again.
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02-20-2014 17:56 by Lewis S.
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I love snow – People who never shovel
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12-16-2020 06:59
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a love-ate relationship with food.
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09-01-2010 21:36
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Calm her down. Women love to be calmed down.
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07-05-2018 10:40
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I love you my friends ... and that's not just the beer talking ... its from the bottom of my bottle of wine too.
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12-30-2016 16:46
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Ex: I still love you.
Me: “I’m gonna call you back, my damn fish is drowning”
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06-02-2019 11:36 by Raven
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Cheating your wife doesn't mean that you don't love her...it's like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home...it saves tires and longer lasting beauty and reduces mileage...Send this to your wife and let me know which hospital you are in..
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05-27-2018 05:51
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Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy watching love island.
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08-19-2018 05:21 by Stevielea
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Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"
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12-06-2019 09:05
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*Love in the time of coronavirus* Hey baby, want to go back to my place and play find the paper cut with the hand sanitizer?
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04-27-2020 09:24
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Love how I can remember the lyrics to just about any song written in the 70s but can't remember where I laid my car keys down last night?
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08-30-2020 19:35 by moon
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On a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love.
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07-28-2016 20:42
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Love kickboxing and think there should be kick versions of more sports, like kickbowling and kickbadminton.
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07-30-2016 05:32
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Couple beside me in the restaurant are on a blind date; they both love dogs, sushi, and looking at Tinder while the other one is in the restroom.
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08-29-2016 04:12
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Love Halloween, seeing all the monsters and the scary imagery. Then I turn off the campaign ads and wait for the trick-or-treaters.
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09-01-2016 01:51
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Quit telling everyone how much you love Fall, you psychopath.
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10-09-2016 04:20
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I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman, then pow, it was all gone, when my wife found out.
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12-30-2018 06:30
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Going forward I'm only saying I love you to cheeseburgers.
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01-28-2020 06:11
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Love ordering from the menu by reading the description, not the item. "Yes, I'll have the two long ground corn tamales stuffed with pork."
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06-14-2016 00:50
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R.I.P PHIL HARRIS FROM DEADLIEST CATCH. WE LOVE WATCHING YOU
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02-10-2010 10:22
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