zack Funny Status Messages

   Each day is a gift...Mondays are gag gifts!

   Think outside the facebox.

   Happy 90210

   stuck in traffic. Send bacon.

   full of whimsical f*ckery

   Dear chicken, please cook yourself and jump into my mouth. thank you

   |\\//\\//\\//\\| <-- <y best attempt at creating a piece of virtual bacon for you

   Holy Wars are just arguments about who has a better imaginary friend.

   Hey, whats a four letter term used to call a woman ending in "unt"?......the answer is "Aunt"

   To the Gentlemen, I'm Miss Fortune. To the Ladies, I'm Sir Prize.

   Friends touching each other inappropriately makes me a sad panda

   Michael Jackson gets to go to heaven because he was doing things the priest were doing.

   They didn't break the mold after me, they just chained it up.

   Drown in your blood or live in your sht

   I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous

   features more cowbell than legally allowed in seven countries

   A man walks into a bar. He says to the bartender..... "Ow".

   I think Commercials on Pandora & Youtube are the Devil.

   2 years ago the creator of redbull died, to this day his eyes are still open.

   what you would call an "Anit-Hero"