@kraziedavid909 Funny Status Messages

   Fresh out the shower √ Ice cold beer √ BBQ grill ready √ Sunday NFL Football √ √ √....---> IT'SGO TIME<---

   she said I don't give my number to strangers and I'm like we have been facebook friends for like 1 week already..lol

   i hate how I walk by the computer and forget what I was planning on doing and instanly check here and facebook lol.

   You got to live life on both sides of the coin, you never know which side its going to land on

   Hey, what I do in my car at a red light is my business. Even if it technically did get all over the dashboard and the driver in the next car

   I put my phone on airplane mode then threw it accross the room..Worst transformer ever!

   Girl:i"d French kiss you. Guy: I'd Australian kiss you Girl: What's that? Guy: A french kiss only down under ;)

   Passed out at 9pm. Woke up 10:30pm to sound of wife's vibrator. Went back to sleep.

   you know your high when you wait for a stop sign to change color.

   i can sound like a broken record,i can sound like a broken record, I can sound like a broken record,i can sound like a broken record...

   The best part about it being monday is Monday Night FOOTBALL! yeah buddie :)

   I'm on the road to happiness and ain't a stop sign in sight :-)

   If all the good ones are taken does that make me bad cause I'm single...lol

   The best part of waking up...isBUDLIGHT in your cup!

   The key to a womens heart is... giving her all of yours! <3

   I have Monday phobia ima shut my eyes and when I open them please be Thursday :-)

   tis the season to be horny

   If you can rate this with your tounge you're a great kisser ;)

   "There must be a very short line for your job."

   so much for black friday at a bar