Prostitute Funny Status Messages

   Valentine's day: Dinner for two: $80. Movie: $60. Flowers: $85. Gold Necklace: $250. Hotel room: $150 OR a Prostitute: $100! You decide.

   Lyft and Uber will have you outside, looking like a prostitute. My goodness..

   If you accept a penny for your thoughts, not only are you a philosophical prostitute. You're not a very good one.

   NEW SECRET SERVICE CODE OF ETHICS: 1.) When arguing with a hooker in the hotel hallway, Use your "Inside" voice. 2.) You're only allowed to jump on a prostitute if you hear her ticking. 3.) Proudly display the U.S. Flag, But NOT the pole.

   A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”

   It must be impossible to stand out as a prostitute working on Halloween.

   An Example of complete business failure due to professional Negligence is a PREGNANT Prostitute

   Anybody wanna go halfsies on a prostitute?

   I gotta admit, I got a lil excited when I heard they're remaking Total Recall, this time with Colin Farrell. I was wondering who they'd get to play the 3 breasted mutant prostitute ... then it hit me ... SNOOKI would be perfect!

   I went to Japan and got myself a discount prostitute. She love me moderate time.

   Everytime I see a matttress on top of a car I think it's a prostitute making house calls..

   I think this midget prostitute is really selling herself short.

   Great news for YOU , I found a prostitute that charges by the inch, I obviusly can't afford her but I figured I'd pass it onto you so you could enjoy a cheap night out

   A man asked a prostitute, “How much is one round?” The Prostitute replies,"100 on the bed, 50 on the sofa and 20 on the floor. The man gives her 100 and the Prostitute says, 'Wow a classy guy' The man replies, “classy my a$$, I want 5 times on the

   So there I was, wanking myself off, when suddenly I thought "This prostitute is lazy".

   Bragging to me you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got some chips from a vending machine.

   If I had a dollar for every time I've had sex, I'd be a really affordable prostitute.

   OK, You're telling me you're not a slut ..... So ... Does that mean you are some kind of volunteer prostitute or something?

   In some places in India it is cheaper to have sex with a prostitute than it is to buy a condom.

   Everytime I see a mattress on a car, I always think it's a prostitute making a house call.