snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?

   I waited too long.. The stores ran out of winter solstice glasses.

   Russia’s been barred from the 2018 Winter Olympics. No word yet on whether they’ll be barred from the 2018 U.S. elections.

   Global Warming must be true, it seems a lot of snow flakes are melting this year.

   It looks like everyone wants Jon Snow to play NFL...he wont bend a knee

   I don't need drugs to have a good time. But I do need them to focus, avoid depression, survive winter, fall asleep, stay awake, control my blood pressure, calm myself down, and to avoid choking the hell out of stupid people.

   * A russian couple, Rudolf & Tosha are driving home. Tosha: Looks like it's starting to snow. Rudolf: It's rain. Tosha: no I think it's snow. Rudolf: Rudolf the "red" knows rain dear.

   Don't eat the green snow!!!

   Winter seems more like a booty call than a three-month relationship.

   A terrible waitress asked me for a tip last night.... I said don't make snow angels at dog parks.......

   If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren't there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?

   It is times like this that make me laugh at people from the south.Hurricanes & tornados, people still go to work, Snow, deserted streets and empty grocery stores.

   i rather watch grass grow in winter then watch farewell. Bye obama

   Wondering why everyone says "I'm not worried about ME driving in the snow. It's all the idiots out there." At some point, someone has to be that idiot.

   If I win the lottery I'm going to travel the world asking the citizens if they've ever heard of snow. When someone says WTF IS SNOW I'm home

   People act like they've never seen winter before. It happens every f'n year, ya know?

   With winter less than a week away, I've come to the vivid realization that, as human beings, we've been shortchanged by nature. How come we don't get to hibernate?

   Well OBVIOUSLY,, Winter is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese.

   Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation....

   I think I'll build me a snowman and dress him up as a security guard, leave him out front to guard that snow bank.