Elbow Funny Status Messages

   accidentally burnt dinner.. probably a good thing I'm dressed like witch for everytime I open the door, smoke from inside the house comes out and the little kids thinks it's cool

   : Halloween.. The only time of the year where it's ok to take candy from a stranger

   Dear lady with 4 screaming children at the supermarket.. I would like to either discipline your children or slap you in the face for not learning to control them..

   give us back Heath Ledger in replacement for the whole cast of the Twilight Series and Justin Beiber.... Fair trade?

   just seen the ex and now sitting here wondering... What was I smoking and drinking throughout THAT whole relationship!

   would like to offer you a helpful tip : Build a bridge.....AND JUMP OFF IT!!

   can't wait til menopause do us part...

   SEX is not the answer!! Sex IS the question... 'Yes' is the answer! :)