DaNnY Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Famous Marilyn Monroe dress sold for $4.6 million. I bet Joe DiMaggio sent more shots against that dress than the wall at Yankee Stadium!
←Rate | 06-21-2011 12:06 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
←Rate | 06-20-2011 21:53 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is Great, if it was any better, I would have to charge myself admission!
←Rate | 06-20-2011 18:46 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon The words that sunk a million hearts... "Let's just be friends"
←Rate | 05-24-2011 02:14 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally figured out how to f*ck myself... Take that, people that tell me to f*ck myself!
←Rate | 05-11-2011 16:21 by danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon learned a lot about relationships from Super Mario Bros..sometimes, You have to pound a few Dragons to get to the Princess
←Rate | 05-09-2011 04:04 by Danny Comments (2)  


   messageicon typing the postcodes of nudist colonies into Google Earth and pressing 'zoom'...
←Rate | 05-07-2011 05:27 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only perfect science is hindsight.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 17:22 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♥ True love doesn't have a happy ending. It has NO ending ♥
←Rate | 04-23-2011 00:50 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon a man donates blood to his girlfriend. they break up. he says he wants his blood back. she throws a tampon at him and yells 'I'll pay you monthly!!'
←Rate | 04-10-2011 04:10 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Devil came in all his glory to tempt and recruit me, realized who he was talking to, apologized, and asked me for a job application instead.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 01:03 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I buy a teddy bear for $5, name it Mohammed and sell it for $10, have I made of prophet?
←Rate | 04-07-2011 23:09 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A snIckers bar has nuts.
←Rate | 04-06-2011 23:39 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
←Rate | 04-06-2011 23:14 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I fight evil wherever it may be….except in dark, scary places.
←Rate | 04-04-2011 18:46 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.
←Rate | 04-04-2011 18:45 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, “Give me a table near a waiter.”
←Rate | 03-28-2011 18:51 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
←Rate | 03-12-2011 18:33 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm gonna assume my sisters email got hacked and that she has not really resorted to becoming a penis pump sales person..
←Rate | 01-18-2011 00:34 by danny Comments (2)  


   messageicon I've Decided To Get MARRIED :All Women May Now FORM AN ORDERLY LINE...... .. Only The Most Beautiful Or The Very Rich Women Need Apply . . Please Send Me A Private Message With Your Photo or A copy Of Your Bank Balance ,The Winner Will Notified By email
←Rate | 12-19-2010 08:41 by Danny Comments (6)  




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