Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Climate Change is controlled by "them"
←Rate | 04-22-2018 20:04 Comments (4)  

   messageicon gettin extra faded in honor of mini me
←Rate | 04-22-2018 19:14 by Fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Jack Black and Jack White had a baby together, what name would they use?
←Rate | 04-22-2018 18:08 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon The pollen is so bad this year that the folks in the trailer parks are cooking their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 17:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cheating on your wife is a sin. You people do know that, right? If you agree vote up, if not vote down. C0nservative poll only.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 14:17 Comments (6)  

   messageicon I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 13:18 by M.Scott Comments (0)  

   messageicon So I was deleting ugly people on my FB account and I nearly deleted my damn self.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 10:21 Comments (3)  

   messageicon A 15 minute workout usually takes me 3 days.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 10:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Melania Trump to have first state dinner by herself. Hmmmmmm, interesting.....
←Rate | 04-22-2018 01:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it behooves me, I don't want it.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 00:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "420 is to the marijuana industry, what valentine's day is to the flower business
←Rate | 04-21-2018 23:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ever noticed that when you are broke, you have common sense.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 22:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you ever see me running, follow me. The liquor is about to close.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 12:59 Comments (1)  

   messageicon We can be the kind of people who put daffodils in vases. Or we can be the kind of people who leave ants outside.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 12:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There’s nothing better than driving fast on a warm beautiful morning and listening to loud music., food and money are better but I have none of those. I’ll take what I can get.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 12:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What if we're not allowed to be happy until Jennifer Aniston is happy?
←Rate | 04-21-2018 11:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What we have here is a failure to want to communicate.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 11:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In Japan they read sentences from the right to the left. Kind of like how Americans read a menu.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 10:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I miss the days when a restaurant would tin foil wrap my leftovers into a swan or a boat or a hat to keep the NSA out of my brain.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 08:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m at that age where all my friends have husbands and babies and all I’ve got is time and money.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 08:47 Comments (0)  

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