Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon this one time I saw a vegas hypnotist who told the audience he was going to turn me into a sad, depressed dummycrat loser who makes dumb jokes on a dying website for zero money & I was like give it ur best shot, Mezmo the Great
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Ho ho oh my God I can’t stop giggling!” -Santa Claus, after eating cookies in homes across Canada
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Canadian cattle can now legally graze on cannabis plants. The steaks have never been higher.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just went through the $10 carwash by myself without any kids and it was the best vacation I've been on in 4 years.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon KFC Cashier: I hope your family enjoys this 12 piece meal Me: Family?
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can feel my gut hanging out of my t-shirt but it's hidden by my hoodie so basically my secret identity is Winnie the Pooh.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I had a pet unicorn, I'd probably just use it to carry my donuts around.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Girlfriend says our sex-life is so bad because I get so easily distracted? Ah well!..back to it I suppose!
←Rate | 10-21-2018 05:44 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon This has to be the most ridiculous page on the net.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 05:00 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Drink beer while you can still afford it.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 02:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What's trump's favorite cereal? Cheeri O's, the cereal made for little hands.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 01:40 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon All the presidents in the past were called a sitting president. Trump has changed that to s*itty president.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 01:19 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Q: What do "Deadliest Catch" and "Jersey Shore" have in common? A: They're two reality TV shows about catching crabs.
←Rate | 10-20-2018 23:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tee Jaye you anall wart
←Rate | 10-20-2018 20:09 Comments (4)  

   messageicon instead of talking about who people whould vote for, maybe gef off social media and actually go put and vote if you want change
←Rate | 10-20-2018 19:57 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Her: "Let's watch a good horror movie tonight!" Me: "OK!" **Breaks out wedding video** And that's when the fight started...
←Rate | 10-20-2018 17:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The circumference of a pumpkin divided by it's diameter = pumpkin pi...
←Rate | 10-20-2018 16:59 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon First rule of Fight Club: Never hold it at a Saudi Arabian Embassy!
←Rate | 10-20-2018 16:14 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon A new nickname has come out for all conservatives. It is Cletus.
←Rate | 10-20-2018 14:52 Comments (5)  

   messageicon Can't wait for all the suicides to happen when the blue wave comes. That's the real MAGA.
←Rate | 10-20-2018 12:59 Comments (3)  

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