Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
←Rate | 07-18-2018 07:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon *breaks a sweat* Sweatshop Owner: You’re gonna have to pay for that
←Rate | 07-18-2018 07:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler's Anonymous?
←Rate | 07-18-2018 07:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A massage is just professional petting for humans.
←Rate | 07-18-2018 07:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh where oh where can the server be? .... Oh where oh where can it be?..... trump wants the server and he wants it now.... Oh where oh where can it be?
←Rate | 07-18-2018 03:03 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Rest areas are weird.... The guy in the stall next to me has four feet.
←Rate | 07-18-2018 02:19 by BobbyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon "The summit meeting went so well that putin is thinking of letting trump be president for another four years."
←Rate | 07-17-2018 23:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "DJT wins the Kremlin's employee of the month award."
←Rate | 07-17-2018 23:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You tube's How to use a fire extinguisher shouldn't have a advert before it.
←Rate | 07-17-2018 23:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Let's offer trump free buckets of KFC chicken for life for his resignation. "
←Rate | 07-17-2018 23:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon George W said he spoke with Osama, and Osama said he didn't do it.
←Rate | 07-17-2018 21:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm attending the next Trump rally because I love puppet shows.
←Rate | 07-17-2018 21:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wouldn't bang her, oops I meant I would bang her.
←Rate | 07-17-2018 21:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn't make you a TV star.
←Rate | 07-17-2018 02:04 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon The two things a wife can do to make her husband happy. Pack her bags and leave.
←Rate | 07-16-2018 19:06 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
←Rate | 07-16-2018 17:16 by BobbyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one.....
←Rate | 07-16-2018 17:14 by BobbyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I get a kiss, I end up smelling like pepper spray....
←Rate | 07-16-2018 17:11 by BobbyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Why is it that a insecure person(d.j.t.) needs to express their accomplishments that they never accomplished.
←Rate | 07-16-2018 14:44 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Now that FIFA is over, it's time to get back to your own goals!
←Rate | 07-16-2018 13:26 Comments (0)  

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