Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:
Page: 2 of 6012

   messageicon I’m done with my 90 Day trial of 2020! How Do I Cancel my Membership?
←Rate | 04-08-2020 21:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just because he's there with a group of medical experts doesn't make him one.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 21:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I meant the dolt below tiger boy's fan club's post
←Rate | 04-08-2020 19:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not sure what the guy below is saying. I'm a property manager with a company that has hundreds of rentals. Only 4 are late.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 19:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Free Joe Exotic!
←Rate | 04-08-2020 18:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's amazing how our people is financially struggling from one lost paycheck. Booming economy, eh? More like con-artist illusionist president.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 18:12 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Anybody else up to 6 meals a day
←Rate | 04-08-2020 15:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stay at home from the US CONVID-19 virus, find the best solution to copy and backup any porn movie DVD/Blu-ray disc with Makemv, just @
←Rate | 04-08-2020 14:51 by makemkv Comments (0)  

   messageicon I never thought I would get tired of jacking it at work, but three weeks into working from home and it has lost its luster.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 14:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Reinforce your Ikea furniture and make yourself comfortable in mom’s basement for four more years, mi!!ennials. Bernies out!
←Rate | 04-08-2020 13:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hey B. sanders below, you quit, so please go
←Rate | 04-08-2020 12:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey 11:07, because Trump is so great at telling the truth, eh? If Trump said the earth is flat, I can see you supporting him 100%
←Rate | 04-08-2020 11:51 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Roman Catholic dietary law classified aquatic mammals as fish rather than meat. therefore, you are free to eat beaver on Good Friday.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 11:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember wearing shoes? Is that still a thing?
←Rate | 04-08-2020 11:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Newsflash: Sorry libs, but what the MSM is saying is a lie. Trump does not own any stock in a company that makes hydroxychloroquine.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 11:07 Comments (1)  

   messageicon At least all this money printing from the Fed will solve the toilet paper shortage
←Rate | 04-08-2020 11:05 by Hirit Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're not gaining weight during the pandemic you ain't high enough
←Rate | 04-08-2020 10:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon And suddenly people don't wonder any more if your living life to the fullest or have completely given up when you walk into the supermarket wearing pajamas.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 10:10 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm sorry I removed you from my friends-list. But it's my new policy in dealing with folks who annoy the f*****g s**t out of me.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 09:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I get out of quarantine I am starting a line of lawn mowers called mowjo.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:57 Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left