Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I was watching Family Feud. I can't believe they've found that many black families with a dad.
←Rate | 04-11-2024 04:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer... THEN IT HIT ME.
←Rate | 04-10-2024 05:58 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Romans after the eclipse… Veni, vidi, nōn vidi!
←Rate | 04-08-2024 21:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Four pair of solar eclipse glasses for sale. Just used for just a few minutes. 1/2 price. 😎
←Rate | 04-08-2024 19:31 by ChuckyB Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't know what to make for my dinner. In the refrigerator I have two all-beef patties and some special sauce, but I can't think of any other ingredients that I could add to these.
←Rate | 04-08-2024 18:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wondering, what are the aliens on the dark side of the moon doing? Seeing the sun for the first time?
←Rate | 04-08-2024 14:16 by Otis Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know, while we’re at it, don’t look directly at me today either.
←Rate | 04-08-2024 11:16 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  

   messageicon To all you folks out there that have no life and need this Eclipse to fulfill that void in your life? I heard if you moon the eclipse, you will become a smart ass like me and will become significant and with purpose!!
←Rate | 04-08-2024 10:46 by DonnyWang Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes you have to sit back and play the role of a fool to fool the fool who thinks they are fooling you.
←Rate | 04-08-2024 09:44 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon By 11:59pm on 4/8/24, a lot of people are going to look ignorant. It will be those expecting to be raptured or everybody else.
←Rate | 04-07-2024 16:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it just me or do you think there's something terribly wrong with YouTube playing a 30 second commercial from their sponsor before watching a How to operate a fire extinguisher during an emergency video?
←Rate | 04-07-2024 00:56 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had a thought, and then I had another thought. They bounced off each other and now I can't find either one.
←Rate | 04-06-2024 08:10 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ha ha funny
←Rate | 04-05-2024 16:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cooking for 2 hours just to eat for 10 minutes is the biggest scam in the world.
←Rate | 04-03-2024 05:59 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are medication side effects always negative things? Why is it never a side effect that this medication may make you better at math or may cause extreme sexiness. Why is it never a side effect that you get smarter or can more easily learn French
←Rate | 04-01-2024 19:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon April 1
←Rate | 04-01-2024 15:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I say, "I hate drama" I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people's drama? Big fan!!!
←Rate | 04-01-2024 09:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Also in the news, the national atheist church has applied for non-prophet status.
←Rate | 03-29-2024 11:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Facebook, stop asking me what's on my mind. We both know it's against community standards.
←Rate | 03-28-2024 05:59 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a woman says, "Correct me if I'm wrong", do not under any, I mean any circumstances do it.
←Rate | 03-27-2024 06:09 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

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