Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon My Grief Counselor died today. He was so good.. I don't even care!
←Rate | 03-06-2024 19:39 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.
←Rate | 03-06-2024 11:53 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when you start treating someone like they treat you and they suddenly think you're an asshole?
←Rate | 03-06-2024 10:06 by @ttmichael09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The clocks go back this weekend. Hopefully back to when we could afford groceries.
←Rate | 03-06-2024 08:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a reel-ationship
←Rate | 03-04-2024 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey. If owls are so smart, how come they don't say, 'whom'?
←Rate | 03-04-2024 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do Priests delivering Mass use their Altar ego ?
←Rate | 03-03-2024 07:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally realized it... People are prisoners of their phones. That's why they are called cell phones.
←Rate | 03-03-2024 05:56 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Flexibility is essential for mind stability
←Rate | 03-02-2024 10:33 by GG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm off to the park to laugh at all the joggers.
←Rate | 03-02-2024 05:55 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet
←Rate | 02-29-2024 21:32 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.
←Rate | 02-29-2024 12:28 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Padhai nahi ho rahi, kyunki mere bed ka gravitational pull kitni strong hai, ye mere books bhi confirm kar chuki hain
←Rate | 02-29-2024 08:11 by @arshacasm Comments (0)  


   messageicon So….Apparently driving past a cop…. While drinking water….from a vodka bottle…isn’t funny and is technically wasting police time.
←Rate | 02-28-2024 21:40 by Avi8torTx Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our childhood didn't prepare us for the amount of time we were going to say F^CK as adults
←Rate | 02-28-2024 16:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The officer asked, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" And we just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
←Rate | 02-28-2024 10:13 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not homophobic. I'm pro-vagina.
←Rate | 02-28-2024 09:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that I've gotten older I've come to realize why Bigfoot stays away from people.
←Rate | 02-27-2024 10:25 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My patience is basically like a Gift Card. Not sure how much is left on it but we can give it a try.
←Rate | 02-26-2024 05:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Backstreet Boys are now doing Downy fabric softener commercials, which means their career is officially over.
←Rate | 02-24-2024 14:39 Comments (0)  




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