Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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My Grief Counselor died today. He was so good.. I don't even care!
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03-06-2024 19:39 by MWC
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President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.
Don't you hate it when you start treating someone like they treat you and they suddenly think you're an asshole?
The clocks go back this weekend. Hopefully back to when we could afford groceries.
In a reel-ationship
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03-04-2024 11:23
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Hey. If owls are so smart, how come they don't say, 'whom'?
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03-04-2024 09:34
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Do Priests delivering Mass use their Altar ego ?
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03-03-2024 07:24
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I finally realized it... People are prisoners of their phones. That's why they are called cell phones.
Flexibility is essential for mind stability
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03-02-2024 10:33 by GG
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Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm off to the park to laugh at all the joggers.
never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet
Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.
Padhai nahi ho rahi, kyunki mere bed ka gravitational pull kitni strong hai, ye mere books bhi confirm kar chuki hain
So….Apparently driving past a cop…. While drinking water….from a vodka bottle…isn’t funny and is technically wasting police time.
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02-28-2024 21:40 by Avi8torTx
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Our childhood didn't prepare us for the amount of time we were going to say F^CK as adults
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02-28-2024 16:17
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The officer asked, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" And we just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
I'm not homophobic. I'm pro-vagina.
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02-28-2024 09:06
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Now that I've gotten older I've come to realize why Bigfoot stays away from people.
My patience is basically like a Gift Card. Not sure how much is left on it but we can give it a try.
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02-26-2024 05:25
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The Backstreet Boys are now doing Downy fabric softener commercials, which means their career is officially over.
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02-24-2024 14:39
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