jcgj Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Christmas - The time of year when you can get the whole dysfunctional family together under one roof!
←Rate | 12-13-2016 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ryan Lochte is going to be a father, which proves that no matter how stupid you may be, it only takes one strong swimmer to get somebody pregnant.
←Rate | 12-15-2016 05:13 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've had only had one glass of wine. . . Glass, bottle. . . whatever. . . A bottle is glass, right ??
←Rate | 12-19-2016 15:34 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
←Rate | 12-19-2016 15:37 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, yea I was naughty this year ..and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental b*stard!
←Rate | 12-19-2016 18:28 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Merry hammered people! I'm Christmas!
←Rate | 12-24-2016 22:42 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Hillary too..
←Rate | 12-28-2016 15:20 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Donald Trump too..
←Rate | 12-29-2016 18:19 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Catch me outside, how about that?
←Rate | 01-26-2017 11:19 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still waiting for Activision to come out with "Call of Duty" for Atari 2600
←Rate | 02-09-2017 21:31 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon All houses made out of wood are tree houses.
←Rate | 01-19-2018 23:52 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if... what if dogs love us so much because they know we're made of bones.
←Rate | 10-13-2018 20:08 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Place aluminum foil in a paper shredder ... BOOM TINSEL !!
←Rate | 12-14-2018 20:52 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.
←Rate | 12-25-2018 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put in an URGENT REQUEST to Santa last night for a mirror so you can locate that STICK that's UP YOUR @$S and REMOVE IT!!
←Rate | 12-19-2019 19:36 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m convinced that Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars are made by Dyson.
←Rate | 06-04-2020 22:16 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon 🎶 ...No mask on your face You big disgrace Spreadin' your germs all over the place... 🎶
←Rate | 06-04-2020 22:27 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judge: "how do you plead?" Me: "your honor I plead oopsie daisies."
←Rate | 07-03-2020 11:50 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self-centered lives already in progress.
←Rate | 01-03-2021 14:00 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, "Marco" and then an even fainter, "Polo."
←Rate | 02-25-2021 17:05 by JCGJ Comments (0)  




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