Jackbrass Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Worst feeling ever : taking a sh!t in a public bathroom and getting your a$$hole splashed with toilet water.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 07:06 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever since my roommate got a new uptight, b!tchy girlfriend he's been acting like a real d!ck to everyone. So one night I took his phone, went on his facebook and checked in at a male strip club, then a gay bar, then a wmca. He's single again.DontBeAd!ck
←Rate | 09-21-2011 04:40 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think my wife is hot you should see my girlfriend.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:48 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon The real meanings of Facebook event RSVP's yes= most likely going but might bail last second, No= your lame why would I go somewhere with you, maybe= I'm not going but I'm too much of a pu$$ to say no.
←Rate | 10-14-2011 06:49 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some play hard to get, I play hard to want.
←Rate | 10-21-2011 08:22 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cop to a hooker: What would your mother do if she seen you out here doing this? Hooker: She'd kill me, this is her corner.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 06:32 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey people in cavilers, you have a 4 cylinder! I have an 8, stop trying to race me.....
←Rate | 11-04-2011 22:23 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend got mad at me because I didn't like her Facebook status 30 minutes after she posted it. It's not like I have a magical Facebook device on me at all times. Sent via safari for iPhone.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 02:43 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Home: the place I can poop for as long as I want to.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 17:35 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Commercials used to be funny. Now they're just like "hey stupid! Buy this!"
←Rate | 01-26-2012 17:39 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  



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