Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Putting your phone away and paying attention to those talking to you? There's an App for that. It's called "respect".
←Rate | 02-21-2010 16:48 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Never buy a car you can't push.
←Rate | 09-04-2010 14:25 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was on a plane the other day and when it landed, the pilot said, "Those of you needing wheelchair assistance, please remain seated." I don't think they had much of a choice.
←Rate | 09-19-2010 10:49 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
←Rate | 12-20-2010 14:04 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 18:19 by lemonpillow Comments (4)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and i'll let you know.
←Rate | 01-23-2010 17:29 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's no coincidence the people who call the cops when parties get loud are the people who never get invited to parties.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 13:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever decided that a one inch Mars bar should be called 'fun size' needs to seriously re-examine their standards for entertainment.
←Rate | 12-12-2009 04:50 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about living in a small town is when I don't know what i'm doing,someone else does.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 02:05 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon 500 years ago when men went to war it was common for them to force their wives to wear chastity belts while they were away.Therfore only a locksmith could remove these chastity belts. This explains why 'Smith' is the most common name in the phonebook...
←Rate | 03-27-2010 13:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when my internet is down,i forget that the rest of my computer still works.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:02 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who starts a sentence "With all due respect..." is about to insult you..
←Rate | 07-09-2010 14:33 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 06:04 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 09:14 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon My boss asked me to take an anger management class today. I told him I was angry enough with management as it is!
←Rate | 01-25-2010 09:21 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not an official disaster until Bono sings about it.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 12:40 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old I get, I will always be overly excited when I receive a hand written letter in the mail.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 13:42 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shrek beat Sex and The City at the box office this past weekend. It was quite a showdown between two very unique movies. One is about a hideous creature and all of it's friends, and the other one is Shrek.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 13:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 08:33 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever noticed how some people just won't stop texting even after you shoot them the one word answers repeatedly?
←Rate | 07-10-2010 14:33 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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