JCGJ Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon While un-locking the door I dropped my keys this, and in one motion with lightning quick reflexes I caught them and punched myself in the balls.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 17:20 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judge: "how do you plead?" Me: "your honor I plead oopsie daisies."
←Rate | 07-03-2020 11:50 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon the wheels of the bus go round and round. And it's making me sick.
←Rate | 05-08-2012 19:17 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time is like a stretched elastic band. You can't let it go or it'll come back and take your balls out.
←Rate | 05-22-2012 20:13 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon ▒▒broke my spac▒ebar but ▒▒a▒▒ little duct tape goes▒▒ a long w▒ay….
←Rate | 07-17-2011 22:30 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctors handwriting: ﹏﹏ ﹏﹏ ﹏. What I see: ǽ₮∂₩£. What the pharmacist sees: Aspirin you dumb ass.
←Rate | 05-22-2012 20:09 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to Mark Zuckerberg's house to move around all his furniture and see how he likes it !!!
←Rate | 09-28-2011 08:22 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon 🎶 ...No mask on your face You big disgrace Spreadin' your germs all over the place... 🎶
←Rate | 06-04-2020 22:27 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, yea I was naughty this year ..and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental b*stard!
←Rate | 12-19-2016 18:28 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Catch me outside, how about that?
←Rate | 01-26-2017 11:19 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon But it's a Stress Ball, I thought I was suppose to throw it at who, or whatever was stressing me out . .when I seen the blue and red lights flashing, and that loud siren. . . .wait, wha? How am I suppose throw it with hand-cuffs.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 16:55 by jcgj Comments (1)  


   messageicon I put in an URGENT REQUEST to Santa last night for a mirror so you can locate that STICK that's UP YOUR @$S and REMOVE IT!!
←Rate | 12-19-2019 19:36 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon 10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash – Now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.
←Rate | 10-10-2011 22:46 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, did you have a good time last night? It was Smurf-tacular! Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette. As we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me. Shut the Smurf up! Yeah! Right in the Smurfing parking lot? Smurf-Yeah! Oh! That is freaking Smurf
←Rate | 07-27-2011 16:56 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Merry hammered people! I'm Christmas!
←Rate | 12-24-2016 22:42 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Take my wife....... for example !!!
←Rate | 06-10-2012 01:06 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ Sorry, I just dropped my bag of Doritos.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 18:25 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Donald Trump too..
←Rate | 12-29-2016 18:19 by JCGJ Comments (0)  



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