Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Never chase them, quickly replace them. Mistakes? Nahh, I don't retrace them. I just move on and mentally erase them. 
The Cavs win twice, the Tribe sweeps Boston, the Heat lose and LeBron's mom gets arrested. You can't deny that KARMA Cleveland.......
If you survive any given fashion fad, you are allowed to wear it forever according to my dad
Michael Brown's Mother is set to speak at the DNC tonight. Now I wasn't going to watch anymore of this crap, but I don't think that I'll be able to look away from this inevitable train wreck.
Liberal people all across the nation are partaking in the new Donald Trump Diet .... It consists of eating a lot of Crow.
We live in a curious time in history where for the first time parents send their children off to College and they return to us as mental toddlers.
Asking new laws and expecting criminals to folllos them is the definition of insanity
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will destroy a Millennial's ability to even.
"Just because she weighed as much as 2 people, that doesn't mean you had a threesome."
Yesterday was the ann'y of the OKC bombing but all the pathetic national news could talk about was Aaron Hernandez and Bill O'Reilly...
Just got scammed out of $25.00, Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes. "Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money. Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Remember Darth Vader took his mask off once and died within minutes.
.... I remember way back when parents and schools made it a point to teach kids how to behave around cops ... and hardly anybody got shot by police ....... Boy were we weird.
Early voting across the nation has confirmed that World War 1 Veterans overwhelmingly support Hillary Clinton!!!
Stealing TVs
and looting stores
is NOT justice.
Cant we have a cage match
Antifa vs, KKK
instead of riots?
went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but couldn't find any
Society is never going to make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other.
Never entrust your life to a surgeon who has more than two band -aids on his fingers
Actually it only takes me 1 drink to get drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the 14th or 15th. 