Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Asking new laws and expecting criminals to folllos them is the definition of insanity

   Stealing TVs and looting stores is NOT justice.

   Cant we have a cage match Antifa vs, KKK instead of riots?

   .... I remember way back when parents and schools made it a point to teach kids how to behave around cops ... and hardly anybody got shot by police ....... Boy were we weird.

   Early voting across the nation has confirmed that World War 1 Veterans overwhelmingly support Hillary Clinton!!!

   Yesterday was the ann'y of the OKC bombing but all the pathetic national news could talk about was Aaron Hernandez and Bill O'Reilly...

   Just got scammed out of $25.00, Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes. "Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money. Pass this on so others don't get scammed.

   Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will destroy a Millennial's ability to even.

   "Just because she weighed as much as 2 people, that doesn't mean you had a threesome."

   When you send me a message that starts off "I remember how much fun we had!" in your friend request...Please take the profile picture of your grandmother with the new baby down. That scares the hell out of me!

   Actually it only takes me 1 drink to get drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the 14th or 15th.

   if you can't beat them, let them join you. THEN beat them.

   I think I have a combination of Alzheimer's and ADD. I can't remember what I wasn't focusing on

   A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

   My life is proof that you can party as a profession.

   that the word "studying" comes from the words "students dying".

   You know it's awkward when your dad sends friend requests to all your friends.

   the best part of baking is licking the bowl.

   Love is a fire... But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

   When some one says "wait for it".....as a comedic device. Its even funnier to just drop kick them in the balls real fast. I like this!