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I saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth.. She was down to the final four.
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03-14-2018 07:30 by
MDS
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A new commandment. Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
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11-08-2017 21:26 by
@UncleBSolomon
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If you're constantly stirring the pot, not only should you be required to lick the spoon, but also have that spoon jammed up your butt. Perhaps that's your goal anyways.
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11-17-2017 01:02
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Whenever someone invites me to their home and I see more than 3 cars parked outside, I keep driving just in case it's an intervention.
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05-25-2017 08:12
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Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato, Hillary Duff and Beyonce say they are sending their prayers to Houston. I feel like such a jerk. All I sent was money.
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08-29-2017 13:26
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Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
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04-28-2017 07:51
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If you don't own a dog whistle you can use two teenage girls who haven't seen each other in a month.
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07-11-2017 09:33
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Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
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07-21-2017 10:53 by
Mickey
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Since the 2nd amendment gives me the right to bear arms. I cut the sleeves off all of my shirts.
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12-17-2017 00:50 by
Jake
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I often get a "yes" from women...but it's usually followed by..."that's him officer"
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10-19-2017 10:17 by
Trueman
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Was having an argument with my wife. Just as I was about to win the argument, my alarm clock went off.
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10-21-2017 17:29 by
Jake
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More bad news for millenials - you do not get a trophy for parallel parking your car
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12-08-2017 20:50
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A great man once said, "If you divide the people because you want their votes, you will never be able to unite them if you win the election".
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02-09-2018 12:48
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I am not usually one to brag, but I was able to get my daily recommended calorie intake for weight loss down in just one sitting!
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04-25-2017 15:38 by
John Y
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the only way I know something is bad for me is if I like it
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05-22-2017 07:39
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I'll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
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06-24-2017 10:10 by
BEE
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1
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Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn't working out either.
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07-26-2017 08:19
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I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
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08-04-2017 17:56 by
Otis
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Never buy crystal meth from a guy with a full set of teeth. He's obviously an undercover cop.
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08-25-2017 06:42
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Any coincidence that OJ gets parole about the same time that Ford Motor Company brings back the Bronco?
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09-16-2017 22:27
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