love Funny Status Messages

   I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils.

   Let's stop the hate and spread the love. Or STD's, as my doctor says they are 'technically' named.

   When love wants to speak, reason must shut the hell up.

   Do what you love, and the money will follow, unless what you love is Facebook.

   Being in love is the smartest way of being stupid.

   I love being the first one up in the morning, it gives me time to take all the toilet paper out of the bathrooms for ransom....

   I was going to post a story about how I used to love drinking gallons and gallons of iced tea in the 80's. Then I realized, no one wants to hear me complain about the freezing temperatures outside..

   "I have decided to stick to love... Hate is too much of a burden to bear" - Martin Luther King jnr

   I've gotta have more people in my life that love my elbows.. .

   I hate Glee... when I drive past stupid drivers with my hand in the shape of an "L" on my forehead, they just smile, give me a giant thumbs up and nod as I read their lips "I love Glee too!"meanwhile drifting bk and forth while driving 55 in the fast lane

   I love Sundays, because my Italian grandmother cooks THE BEST crystal meth.

   I asked my Heart why can't I sleep at night? IT replied: Cos you already slept your arse off at work. . Don't act like you're in Love jackasss. . :|

   ‎‎(ｏ・_・)ノ”(ノ_<。) I hate you -__- ?30secs later (っ˘з(˘.˘ )♥ Bipolar Love

   Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big t*tties!!

   ROMANTIC IDEA: Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as "I Love You" When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!

   I'd love to see the headlines if the day ever came that Arnold Schwarzenegger was diagnosed with a tumor.

   I don't know what Squidward's problem is. I would love to live next to SpongeBob!

   LOVE is one night stand..........TRUE LOVE is one night stand with same person lifelong..:)

   My seatbelt makes me feel so secure ... Like nothing can get me... I love how it protects me so..... ;)

   I love gas stations that sell fireworks, that's like prostitutes that sell rope and shovels