Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1337 of 6446

Dating Red Flags: She shows you the "good behavior" pin she received in group therapy.
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06-21-2016 16:15
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.... Heck ..... ow can you trust a government that leaves you defenseless against an enemy your own Government Imported?
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06-24-2016 18:20
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If we had a black president none of this kind of stuff would be happening.
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07-08-2016 01:02
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'Black Lives Matter' is taking off while 'Just stop breaking the law yo' gets no support
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07-09-2016 21:30
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course; He'll shut up once you let him in.
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07-25-2016 16:10 by Fazzella
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I was just brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant when out of nowhere I hear "you're gonna have to pay for that"............this walmart sucks!
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09-01-2016 10:04
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"It didn't make him stronger" - My gravestone, prolly..
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09-02-2016 20:17 by Snotty
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Dear Fellow Americans,,, Can't we just all agree to write in "literally anyone else" on our ballots this November?
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09-05-2016 15:36 by Snotty
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Latest Galllup Presidential Poll: Hillary Clinton's body double is now polling higher than Jill Stein.
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09-14-2016 05:32
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The most contentious part of the Brangelina divorce will be who gets custody of Ethiopia.
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09-21-2016 05:08
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Hillary says she takes national security very serious. So how the hell did wikileaks get those classified emails then?
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10-14-2016 00:36
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Someone threw a jar of mayo at me...I was like, "what the Hellmann"?
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07-28-2020 08:05
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I would probably be in a gang right now if I could stay up past 10pm.
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10-28-2020 07:52
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If like me you’ve ever been accused of being born in a barn and want to chat about it, remember, my door is always open.
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12-08-2020 08:03
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You know what this healthy salad needs? Stale bread – the inventor of croutons
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12-08-2020 08:04
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By the time we can have a drink in a bar again, Captain Morgan will be an Admiral.
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12-14-2020 10:30
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Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
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01-27-2021 11:01
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Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
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02-13-2021 15:05 by 740MM
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When the zombies come, my plan is to hope they are all dyslexic and go after the Brians
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10-30-2017 15:10
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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
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02-19-2018 11:24
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