love Funny Status Messages

   Mr. Howell's and Gingers' love child

   I love my women like I love my whisky: twenty years old and mixed up with coke.

   I wish I loved anything as much as fat chicks love to tell people that Marilyn Monroe was a size 12.

   From now on, if we text longer than a week, we better fall in love. If not, you paying my phone bill for wasting my unlimited texts.

   I love tattoos- every year on my birthday I get a small dash on my inner thigh were my balls currently hang. You can't tell me that's not going to be a beautiful work of art when it's finished.

   I thought love was a giveing thing.... The more I gave the less I got

   Hey Boston-LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER♥

   "The righteous are those who feed the poor, the orphan and the captive for the love of God, saying: 'We feed you for the sake of God Alone; we seek from you neither reward nor thanks.'"

   Gotta love the siri iphone 4. My friend farted in the car and siri new we had pizza..!!

   Y.O.L.O You Obviously Love Oreos

   Meatloaf will do anything for love.. but won't do it for a klondike bar. . .

   I've I heard people want to boycott Beauty and the Beast because there's a gay character in it. It's okay for a teenage girl to fall in love with a rabid, hairy dog, but you can't have a gay person in a movie?

   Of course I believe in the Zodiac.... I'm a Leo and I love the movie Titanic...if that's not convincing enough, my grandmother is a cancer.......and she was killed by a giant lobster.

   I'm more comfortable with animals than humans. Animals understand love clearly. Love a human and they misconstrue it a thousand ways.

   Love when people update their Facebook page 20+ times a day. Frickin annoying. We get it you are important!!

   Never text your wife and your gal pal at the same time...one misplaced "love you" can confuse everything

   Some cool ways to trick a woman into bed include "being kind," "making her feel special" & "showing her respect." They love that shi#t

   Here's a tip for you travellers, when Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar on Me comes on your ipod in the airport, DON'T sing along. I spent 12 hours explaining that I was just singing the lyrics "Love me like a bomb, b...b...b..bomb"

   I love cats! They taste just like chicken

   Driving 32 miles to buy the same apples I could get 50% cheaper at the local grocery store 1 mile from my place is the reason why I absolutely love Autumn.