love Funny Status Messages

   Dear Lunchables, I remember when I was a kid I used to love eating you, now that I'm an adult, I realize now that you are just cheese and crackers and are nowhere near a full lunch, wtf was I thinking. Please update your lunchables to feed more than a sma

   Dear Lean Cuisine, Your microwave lunches are small. My body does not get 35MPG like most people. I get more like 12MPG with a strong tail wind. Please help. Love, Me

   girls are like phones. we love to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!!

   When the I in "I love you" becomes more important than the "you," the word in the middle just fades away.

   Everything ██is█████ ████ ████fine ███ █ ████ love. ████ █████ the ███ Egypt ███ ████ government ██

   I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants

   I love snow it can make the dirtiest ghetto look clean.

   I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

   Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall.

   Someone give Bruno Mars a grenade and pull the pin. I'm getting sick of that song. She dosen't love you, I don't wanna hear about how your stalking her.

   s Akon 2006 "I wanna f**k you" .. Akon 2008 " I wanna make love right now na na na" .. Akon 2010 "I just had sex!" .. poor guy waited 4 years!

   I love getting voicemails from my grandma. They usually consist of a pause, then "I don't think he's home."

   Don't you just love nature? Dispite what it did to your face.

   BAD NEWS: I've never been in love. GOOD NEWS: I've never been in Courtney Love.

   I spread you before I eat you, I use my tounge to get you off, sometimes I lick your nuts.....mmmmm I love peanut butter

   Love is like wildflowers; It's often found in the most unlikely places, take the brothel for instance.

   3 ways to die early. smoking = 5 years early. alcohol = 10 years early. loving someone who doesn't love you = you die daily.

   Love,Live,Exist and be loyal. The rest is a piece of cake. You only live once so live your life right

   Would just love to punch someone in the Kidneys but apparently society frowns upon that

   I love it when people call me at 3 AM. "Hey, are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."