santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Dear Santa, I was framed.

   They Say There Is No Better Christmas Gift The A Homemade One That's Why I Will Be Giving Everybody Crystal Meth This Holiday Season

   Dear Santa, Can we talk about this? I'm so sick and tired being on that list. I'm just having fun.

   Dear Santa .all I want for Xmas is ur naughty list.

   My Christmas tree looks like Hell. I can get away with it though, because I'm a guy.

   Dear Santa, Last year I asked for and received your list of naughty girls, It was fun but I think I am past that point in my life. This year I would like to receive your list of good girls with naughty tendencies!

   Attention Please: Christmas has been canceled. Apparently when you told Santa you've been good this year, he died laughing.

   Santa calls me a Ho three times when he sees me. Like he knows me or somethin...

   Here's an idea for Christmas; Give children batteries with a note saying toys not included!!! lol

   In order to refrain from spending too much on Christmas, I'm voluntarily placing myself in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.

   So...I met this really nice girl at closing time last night. Granted, she's missing both her front teeth but Christmas is coming, right?!? I think it can work...

   Inbox me your Bank Account or Credit Card number and I will post in my status which bill I paid with it or which Christmas gift I purchased. This is one numbers game I will play.

   Every Christmas Eve my family tries to break the record of number of people stuffed into one kitchen.

   Score ! I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough...... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !

   Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :)

   You'll know I'm your "Secret Santa" when you dont get anything!

   My girlfriend made me promise that when I fly home this Christmas it was her that I fantasized about during my "TSA pat down"

   I was excited to bring home my Xmas Tree but I didn't have the heart to tell it I'd be leaving it in the street for dead in just a few weeks.

   This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's christmas list.

   Everyday I hear people say they would to take a break and get some fresh air. So, this year I'm wrapping some up in boxes and giving as Christmas gifts.