love Funny Status Messages

   I don't ever want to feel, like I did that day. Take me to the place I love. Take me all the way.

   I love God. I just don't like the peope who work for him.

   I love to run my finger up the outline of a womans camel toe.

   I love when I can see a grown adult be happier than a kid in a candy store and the candy is shaped like toys!!!

   You kiss the end, then seductively lick the length without breaking eye contact as you place it in your mouth. I love the way you eat bacon.

   enough already we don’t love you at your that or at your this

   A wife is like a box of chocolates, you never know which of her multiple moods you're going to get, you just better act like you love it.

   I'm so used to ending phone calls with family and friends by saying "I love you", that I accidentally said it to the female agent at Spectrum. Anyway, she gave me 6 months of free internet and HBO.

   I know you love me baby. I know. Which is why I got this restraining order on your ass.

   Pro Tip: 84% of my adult life is singing the chorus from Boyz 2 Men's "I'll Make Love To You" at the most inappropriate time.

   I love yoga class. Except my yoga class is on my couch with a donut and instead of stretching, I cramp up due to lack of activity.

   Freud said "Love & work are the cornerstones of our humaness." I say it's love and that show "Pawn Stars".

   I'm ambidextrous; I can drink and make love equally well with either my left or right hand.

   She calls it "making love." I call it "trying to destroy her."

   I make my decisions like I make love. I don't, because I'm married.

   Loving someone who doesn’t love you back isn’t as bad as trying to eat something immediately after brushing your teeth.

   You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps

   The ONE true love that makes you a sandwich and forgets that you are gluten intolerant

   It's not true love until they offer to get decapitated, cooked and eaten by you.

   i found a sexy person who I love very much.... it's a shame i'm not allowed to marry myself