love Funny Status Messages

   Ladies don't call a guy you are not romantically interested encouraging things like "babe", "love" or "hun". This is will only give the poor sods false hope.

   It's Earth Day. I love the earth. There is something about the Earth that makes me constantly gravitate towards it.

   Maybe cops who plant evidence just really love gardening.

   I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

   MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U

   Dear Liver: thank you for being a most gracious and forgiving blood filter. Love, me.

   There is a thin line between love and hate. It starts about halfway through the joint.

   An Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you will love it!"

   Don't confuse being stupid with being in love. There is a huge difference.

   Her: I think it's over. Even after we made love last night he showed no emotion and just rolled over and went to sleep. Him: I hate it when my team loses. Oh well, I least I got some pu$$y!

   What is a wedding tragedy?. . . To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money!!

   Fun fact: the person who said "If you love something let it go" died alone, surrounded by 342 cats.

   Really needs a nap, I guess I will pop "Eat, Pray, Love" back in the blu-ray, should be out in seconds!

   You don't HAVE to be in love to have sex, but you do have to quit squirming away,

   Where is the Love? Discrimination and Homophobia, do you know how many of our children committed suicide because of this? What if it was your child? Born This Way

   Oh, Doctor, doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning..Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling? OK.. Thompson Twins I am going to say no if you are taking a piss!

   People don't love you just for who you are, but how you make them feel.

   I love walking with my wife on the beach,, until the ambien wears off and I'm just dragging a mannequin around the Wal-Mart parking lot.

   found a sweet new keyboard shortcut. I wish I'd known about it before, it's so much faster! I love you ALT + F4. You make my life easy.

   love Independence Day! But it pales in comparison to my Dependence Day, that is the day I decided to depend on God and not myself. Talk about true freedom!