Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There's only one perfect child in the world; and every mother has it! Happy Mother's Day
←Rate | 05-09-2010 04:41 Comments (1)  

   messageicon the kinda guy your mother warned you about. Warned you not to let get away because a good man is hard to find.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dude. Go shave your mustache. Just because it looks good on your mother doesn't mean you can wear it well.
←Rate | 08-13-2012 00:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’ve hugged my mother-in-law with more warmth than those female gymnasts at the Olympics.
←Rate | 08-09-2016 23:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon . My mother in-law is drowning, I've informed emergency services. Hope they get my letter in time to save her.
←Rate | 03-08-2018 01:25 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother taught me to never argue with strangers on the Internet. She said I must agree to meet them in real life, and then punch them in the face.
←Rate | 02-26-2018 13:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Roses are red violets are blue, porn hub is down. So your mother's Facebook will do
←Rate | 01-06-2013 13:06 by Jackoo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't Kanye me!!! or I'll Chris Brown yo a$$... and Tiger Woods your mother!
←Rate | 04-10-2010 13:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
←Rate | 09-12-2010 01:04 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.
←Rate | 08-31-2012 22:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Saw a homeless woman with a sign that said, "Mother of two. Please help." So I gave her some condoms.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 20:34 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Mother in law Joined ISIS this morning.. She leaves tomorrow on a suicide mission.. At least that's what the papers I just signed said ..
←Rate | 12-18-2015 19:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother: Clean your room, family is coming over. Me: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.
←Rate | 12-30-2012 21:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh you got your middle finger up in your profile pic? You mother must be really proud of a job well done raising you.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 08:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Michael Brown's Mother is set to speak at the DNC tonight. Now I wasn't going to watch anymore of this crap, but I don't think that I'll be able to look away from this inevitable train wreck.
←Rate | 07-26-2016 16:44 by John Y Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that the mother and father bear from Goldilocks and the 3 bears had some relationship issues as evident from the fact that they had separate beds!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 22:36 by Tarwadi Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many of the problems in Rick James's life could have been avoided if he could have taken Superfreak home to mother.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 10:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
←Rate | 06-02-2014 07:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please don't curse and use bad words when you comment on my posts. My mother f*cking family is on Facebook. Thank you.
←Rate | 11-05-2012 19:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 01:24 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

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