Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Don't Kanye me!!! or I'll Chris Brown yo a$$... and Tiger Woods your mother!
←Rate | 04-10-2010 13:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.
←Rate | 08-31-2012 22:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Saw a homeless woman with a sign that said, "Mother of two. Please help." So I gave her some condoms.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 20:34 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother rabbit to baby bunny: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions."
←Rate | 03-26-2010 08:22 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Mother in law Joined ISIS this morning.. She leaves tomorrow on a suicide mission.. At least that's what the papers I just signed said ..
←Rate | 12-18-2015 19:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother: Clean your room, family is coming over. Me: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.
←Rate | 12-30-2012 21:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh you got your middle finger up in your profile pic? You mother must be really proud of a job well done raising you.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 08:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many of the problems in Rick James's life could have been avoided if he could have taken Superfreak home to mother.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 10:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that the mother and father bear from Goldilocks and the 3 bears had some relationship issues as evident from the fact that they had separate beds!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 22:36 by Tarwadi Comments (0)  

   messageicon A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
←Rate | 06-02-2014 07:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
←Rate | 09-12-2010 01:04 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please don't curse and use bad words when you comment on my posts. My mother f*cking family is on Facebook. Thank you.
←Rate | 11-05-2012 19:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 01:24 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Son, your mother and I need to talk to you. We went through your room earlier and found....NO drugs OR p orn?! What are you some kind of nerd
←Rate | 12-06-2013 12:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For every one text I send my mother, I have to send 4 more texts explaining what it means
←Rate | 09-17-2013 23:42 by AZ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Michael Brown's Mother is set to speak at the DNC tonight. Now I wasn't going to watch anymore of this crap, but I don't think that I'll be able to look away from this inevitable train wreck.
←Rate | 07-26-2016 16:44 by John Y Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother never understood the irony in calling me a ”son-of-a-b!tch.”
←Rate | 01-04-2011 18:55 by A is for ME Comments (0)  

   messageicon That was Samuel Jackson's first ever public appearance without saying "mother$ucker"
←Rate | 03-02-2014 21:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mom still hasn't gotten her Mother's Day card, the post office wasn't lying when they sold me the "forever" stamp.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 18:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are 3 types of females in this world. There are ladies you introduce to your mother, there are women you introduce to your friends and there are girls you show the door to
←Rate | 12-22-2012 14:21 by Jackoo Comments (0)  

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