Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Roses are red violets are blue, porn hub is down. So your mother's Facebook will do
←Rate | 01-06-2013 13:06 by Jackoo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't Kanye me!!! or I'll Chris Brown yo a$$... and Tiger Woods your mother!
←Rate | 04-10-2010 13:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.
←Rate | 08-31-2012 22:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Saw a homeless woman with a sign that said, "Mother of two. Please help." So I gave her some condoms.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 20:34 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother rabbit to baby bunny: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions."
←Rate | 03-26-2010 08:22 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother: Clean your room, family is coming over. Me: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.
←Rate | 12-30-2012 21:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Mother in law Joined ISIS this morning.. She leaves tomorrow on a suicide mission.. At least that's what the papers I just signed said ..
←Rate | 12-18-2015 19:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh you got your middle finger up in your profile pic? You mother must be really proud of a job well done raising you.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 08:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many of the problems in Rick James's life could have been avoided if he could have taken Superfreak home to mother.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 10:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that the mother and father bear from Goldilocks and the 3 bears had some relationship issues as evident from the fact that they had separate beds!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 22:36 by Tarwadi Comments (0)  

   messageicon A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
←Rate | 06-02-2014 07:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
←Rate | 09-12-2010 01:04 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 01:24 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Son, your mother and I need to talk to you. We went through your room earlier and found....NO drugs OR p orn?! What are you some kind of nerd
←Rate | 12-06-2013 12:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please don't curse and use bad words when you comment on my posts. My mother f*cking family is on Facebook. Thank you.
←Rate | 11-05-2012 19:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For every one text I send my mother, I have to send 4 more texts explaining what it means
←Rate | 09-17-2013 23:42 by AZ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Michael Brown's Mother is set to speak at the DNC tonight. Now I wasn't going to watch anymore of this crap, but I don't think that I'll be able to look away from this inevitable train wreck.
←Rate | 07-26-2016 16:44 by John Y Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother never understood the irony in calling me a ”son-of-a-b!tch.”
←Rate | 01-04-2011 18:55 by A is for ME Comments (0)  

   messageicon That was Samuel Jackson's first ever public appearance without saying "mother$ucker"
←Rate | 03-02-2014 21:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mom still hasn't gotten her Mother's Day card, the post office wasn't lying when they sold me the "forever" stamp.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 18:35 Comments (0)  

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