Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 07:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A penny found is worth more than a penny earned, because a penny earned is taxed.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life begins at 40, so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 07:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 07:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 08:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
←Rate | 08-15-2022 07:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Accomplishing the impossible means the boss will add it to your regular duties.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lot of people don’t struggle with depression, they struggle with the reality we live in.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The CDC recommends wearing your mask on your butt to protect against Monkeypox.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon One sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person’s yard.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The biggest mistake you make with us truth-seekers, is you think we want to be right. Trust me, we wish we were wrong.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome to middle age, berry flavored tums are dessert now.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I look better in person.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:29 Comments (0)  

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