Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Bet if donnie knew how to use the record feature on his phone. He would be recording too.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 04:53 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Everyone loves me this I know.... Because my friend Jim tells me so." (Jim is trump's imaginary friend)
←Rate | 08-20-2018 03:04 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why not have a child run for governor in Vermont. There's one in the white house.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 02:48 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon The worse name that trump has ever given to someone is Don jr.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 02:02 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you could do a do over, would you?
←Rate | 08-20-2018 01:49 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
←Rate | 08-20-2018 00:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Truth isn't truth? Okay then, I guess food isn't good as well. Stupid senile old man.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 00:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Is there a national I don't give a sh*t day? Because donnie celebrates every day."
←Rate | 08-19-2018 23:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 8/20 birthdays Isaac Hayes Connie Chung Al Roker . National bacon lovers day.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 22:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have an “L” shaped sofa. Lower case.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 22:19 by Cicci Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pets are animals that aren’t delicious.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 22:12 by Cicci Comments (0)  

   messageicon To the Pope. Just let priests get married so they won't have to be gay with little boys!
←Rate | 08-19-2018 20:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon As a c0nservative, do I have to believe that the earth is not round?
←Rate | 08-19-2018 19:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy being a 1iberal
←Rate | 08-19-2018 14:27 Comments (12)  

   messageicon These Cheetos are gluten free so yeah, you could say I'm a health nut.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 11:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:28 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do I remember about the midget that attacked me. Very little.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:23 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy watching love island.
←Rate | 08-19-2018 05:21 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you fart and it doesn't stink, should you be concern?
←Rate | 08-18-2018 19:17 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear men, Life without women...... Would literally be a pain in the a$$!
←Rate | 08-18-2018 18:39 by BobbyT Comments (1)  


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