Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A friend: Here's a picture of me when I was youMy friend: Here's a picture of me when I was younger. Me: All pictures of you are when you were younger.nger. Me: All pictures of you are when you were younger.

   Robocop is just a Terminator that hunts minorities.. And dogs

   Missus Beasley gaema hat!

   He's Trump, not Moses. He can't part waters. Blaming him for the Texas flooding is complete nonsense.

   Why are you all still shooting off fireworks? It's July 8th for crying out loud! One of them flew off course and almost hit my Christmas tree!

   My idea of camping is a Motel 6 with a broken ice machine and no cable.

   If casual sex exists that implies the existence of ranked competitive sex

   A fun Independence Day depends on your number of dependents.

   "Diddy be giddy cause he be founded not gitty!" - The Ghost of Johnnie Cochran

   I had White Castle for dinner tonight. It was so good my butt gave them a big blowout review.