santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Don’t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
←Rate | 01-12-2023 01:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s safe to unplug your Christmas lights until next year.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Merry Christmas offends you, then Merry Christmas!
←Rate | 01-06-2023 00:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ghosts from A Christmas Carol are the scariest, because they show you what people are saying about you behind your back.
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can anybody cover my shift tonight? ~ Santa Claus
←Rate | 12-21-2021 05:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon to the people who put antlers and a red rudolph nose on your car for christmas, you can’t fool me I know that’s a car
←Rate | 11-23-2020 13:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.
←Rate | 06-28-2019 19:49 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat
←Rate | 12-17-2018 05:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon me: [listening to The Twelve Days of Christmas] "no person wants this many birds"
←Rate | 12-06-2019 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch
←Rate | 12-09-2017 23:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Shining is my favorite Christmas movie about enjoying quality time with the family when you’re snowed in.
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people which is perfectly understandable.
←Rate | 12-11-2018 08:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent study found that the possibly of work place violence increases significantly when someone puts Christmas music on the office radio in mid-November.
←Rate | 11-15-2018 18:02 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The Lexus commercials with the Christmas bow on the car never show the pissed off wife yelling "You're an idiot Tom! We can't afford this!"
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?....any scholars out there?
←Rate | 09-27-2018 01:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Oh come on this is ridiculous! It’s July 8th and people are still setting fireworks off. One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.
←Rate | 07-07-2020 22:01 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think for Christmas Mark Zuckerberg should share some of his wealth with us all we helped him make, or at least give us fonts.
←Rate | 12-24-2018 14:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news: Santa Claus accused of sexual harassment for having girls sit on his lap and asking if they are naughty.
←Rate | 12-01-2017 18:34 Comments (0)  




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