Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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I identify as Non-Bidenary.
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07-26-2024 16:24
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
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01-06-2023 01:48
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
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01-06-2023 19:34
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
If you’re not happy single, try dating apps. You’ll still be single, but you’ll appreciate it a lot more.
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04-29-2022 00:48
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
According to my chocolate calendar, there are only three days left until Valentine’s Day.
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01-04-2023 02:41
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Trillion-dollar propaganda machine vs. people putting funny words on pictures.
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01-08-2023 17:20
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
When today’s safety meeting is about what you did yesterday.
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06-30-2022 01:06
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Places finger on cop’s lips ~ “Shhh…. We were both speeding, okay? I forgive you.”
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01-06-2023 18:28
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
That moment when you miss one step on the stairs, and you think you’re about to die.
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01-12-2023 01:14
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
When you see your-self as Robin Hood, Prince of Jokes. Stealing from group to feed another, spreading joy across the land.
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01-08-2023 15:25
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Alien: I found this, (picks up cat) it’s vibrating.
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04-22-2022 00:17
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Wonder if the skulls of your enemies are dishwasher safe. Asking for a friend.
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07-01-2022 01:49
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Why are you listening to broken headphones? So, people don’t talk to me.
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04-20-2022 12:30
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a twenty-minute jog. Now I’m sitting at the park, laughing at all the joggers.
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01-08-2023 01:43
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Twitter files released. MSM: “What files? ~ Space Man Bad”
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01-08-2023 16:19
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2020 We aren’t allowed to go in public. 2022 We can’t afford to go in public.
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06-19-2022 02:36
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
My favorite part of winter is when it’s over.
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01-06-2023 01:02
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Lucky for you, mirrors can't laugh out loud.
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01-12-2023 01:34
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Start each day with a positive thought like; “in 16 hours, I can go back to bed.”
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01-18-2023 01:15
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![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I’m all out of snacks. What else do people do for fun? 🤔
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01-23-2023 02:40
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