love Funny Status Messages
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If there is no element of madness, then its not love.
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09-11-2011 10:11
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I wish I loved anything as much as women love telling other women "that's perfectly normal" without any medical training whatsoever.
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06-26-2014 13:24
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How much for the eternal loyalty & unconditional love? Ma'am that's a puppy
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08-06-2014 14:51
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Buy her a time machine, because women love bringing up the past.
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03-02-2014 09:51 by Czovczov
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It pays to network: today, take time to call up every one of your business associates and just tell them that you love them.

I love when people make a photo of their kid as their Facebook profile pic so it's like a baby is screaming about gun rights.
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04-11-2014 15:41 by SEAN
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Your "I Love My Wife" bumper sticker simply means you'd lose a fistfight against a loaf of bread.
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04-20-2014 10:15
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I love your warm body. I love the way you smell, taste. The way you wake me up inside. Coffee
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01-20-2016 01:24
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Somtimes I get the feeling that maybe the love of my life got stuck up in a Condom
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01-25-2016 10:31
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I wanted to touch you, taste your sweetness with soft aromas beckoning me - it was just the beginning of our tragic love story. *pastries
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01-30-2016 12:27
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Everyone knows it's "Private eyes", single clap, "They're watching you", double clap. Now,church choir, for the love of God, get your crap together.
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05-31-2016 22:44 by Snotty
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Why drown in love, when you can swim in lust ?
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12-27-2013 12:00
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So when love comes knocking at your door answer it stark naked

My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me.
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09-25-2013 12:30
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There are only two types of women in this world: 1) Those who love sex just as much as men do. 2) Liars.
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10-19-2013 04:36
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Yes, tell me about the time you were cool. I love fiction.
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11-06-2013 08:17
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I'm asian but not "love you long time" asian. More like "love you for 10 min, roll over, and go to bed" asian.
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02-01-2015 09:46
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If you love someone, keep drinking
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04-03-2015 15:02 by Czovczov
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Want to know the best way to make friends? Tell a woman you love her and she will say "I think we're just friends"

My G.F. has a pair of 'meatloaf' panties. On the front, it says 'I would do anything for love' On the back it says 'but I wont do that.'
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05-21-2015 15:07
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