love Funny Status Messages

   I love the way you lie......................... on the floor after I smack you for being dumb! :p

   It all went to hell when attacking what we hate became more important than defending what we love.

   If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?

   Wife: You bought beer again!? Me: It followed me home. It needed love. I adopted it. [whispers to beer] Say hello to mommy.

   Tomorrow is not guaranteed - and that applies to relationships too. Love for today for tomorrow you may break up.

   Most of the time the past tense of 'hate' is 'love.'

   I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.

   I love a woman in a suit! Her birthday suit that is.

   they say you sould talk to plants, because they can feel the love. what in the hell do you say to weed?

   n't it ironic that I hate math, but I love counting money.

   I'm boycotting beauty & the beast because of a teenage girl falling in love with a buffalo 💡

   Looking for true love on Tinder is like looking for a Buffalo Bills championship. Good luck.

   Love is a two way street, but sometimes there's a car flipped over blocking both lanes of traffic.

   This scale will only tell you the numerical value of your gravitational pull. It will not tell you how beautiful you are, how much your friends & family love you, or how amazing you are.

   fall in love with someone who treats you like Kanye West treats Kanye West.

   It's not love if she takes the money off of the dresser.

   I'm capable of love but i'm also capable of diarrhea so it's back to square one with me

   “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”

   I love sleep so much that its the first thing I think about when I wake up....

   It's easier to wear the buckle than it is to ride the bull, I have no fear about slapping my girl on the ass and calling her by the wrong name just to see how long I can hang on. Gota love rodeo sex!