love Funny Status Messages

   I'm pretty sure Facebook is marriage: lots of falling in love and zero sex

   Always tell your daughters they're beautiful, and you love them. There's enough selfies on Facebook already.

   It's hard to be a straight guy these days. I'm all for equal pay and treatment for women but I also love titties...

   Guys I just seen this girl crying outside of my local mall. I asked her what's wrong, she said she lost 200$. So I gave her 40$ from the 200$ I picked up at the entrance. When God blesses you, you must bless others. Spread love

   Tell someone you love them today, because life is too short. But shout it to them in Russian, because life is also extremely terrifying and very confusing.

   Bernie Sanders endorcing Hillary Clinton feels so much like when the girl you love starts dating the guy you hate most.

   I'm having a love/hate relationship with my antihistamines.

   "I love you! See ya in about an hour!" - Me talking to my beer.

   Bite marks, hickies, and scratches are love notes written in flesh.

   We have just enough Religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

   I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

   the only thing women truely love is making their friends jealous

   Which is worse news this AM, Justin Beiber might have a love child or Herman Cain's believes China doesn't have nukes?

   the only thing stronger than a mother's love is a garlic breath.

   Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it...

   to all of my FB friends: I love you all and you are fabulous! Except for you #78; you are just an ass. You know who you are so don't even try to fake the funk...

   I love Japanese noodles so much I'm gonna eat them the entire month and call it Ramendan.

   Joe B. to wife: I’d love to go to the mall with you honey, but the court order says I can’t come within 50 feet of any mannequins.

   Anyone else love it when they text too fast that their phone can not keep up and when you are finished it looks like it is doing it by itself?! Or is it just me?

   Things to do: 1) Dig a hole 2) Name it love 3) Watch people fall in love.