love Funny Status Messages

   My love language is paranoia.

   I love you like drunk people love EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY

   If you don't feel the love on Facebook then you're stalking the wrong people.

   If you love something, set it free... Maybe not sharks though, Or bees. Or viruses, Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don't love anything.

   Girlfriends are like songs. No matter how much you love it, if you hear it all the time it will eventually drive you nuts.

   GUYS: dont you just love it when your girlfriends friends have worse relationships than yours!!!!

   Ladies, do you like the strong, silent type? Then you'll love my farts.

   Whenever I hear an Italian say that they love Olive Garden, to me that translates to, "My mama was a lousy cook."

   Would love to know what gross pizza joint the Ninja Turtles ordered from that they never questioned delivery to a sewer.

   Just ate a cheese stick wrapped in salami that I bought from 7-11 but I still feel like I deserve God's love.

   God has a plan for every1.. if something is meant 2 be it's meant 2 be. Live ur life for today becuase you never know what tomorrow may bring. Tell the ppl you love that you love them, show the ppl you care bout that you care.. Life is 2 short 2 waste..

   Love thy neighbor, just dont get caught .....

   Tell her you'll change. B*tches love change. Just ask Obama.

   I love the surprised look on a woman's face when I tell her that she drew her eyebrows too high.

   HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! May your day be filled with joy and love. Then tomorrow you can go back to hating each other's guts!

   I just want to say how much I love my wife's inner beauty, core values, and soul. JK, she's smoking hot and loves to fcuk!!

   I wear gasoline for cologne because b*tches love money.

   All you need to find true love is a gun, some rope and duct tape.

   Guys I just seen this girl crying outside of my local mall. I asked her what's wrong, she said she lost 200$. So I gave her 40$ from the 200$ I picked up at the entrance. When God blesses you, you must bless others. Spread love

   Tell someone you love them today, because life is too short. But shout it to them in Russian, because life is also extremely terrifying and very confusing.