santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages
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Just a reminder: Walmart will be closed on Christmas Day so both cashiers can be with their families. 
I try my best to be a thoughtful husband. So, I surprised my wife with a new bag and belt for Christmas ! The old vacuum cleaner is gonna run like new now .
Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don't work, and the other half aren't so bright.
Anyone know how long you could store an unopened loafs of fruit cakes for? Just planning on next year‘s Christmas gifts.
It's wild that Santa can go into people's homes and eat their cookies. But when I do it, I have "issues" and need "help".
Christmas is an illusion. It's based on 2 fairy tales. One features a guy in a red suit, the other in a crummy stable without Netflix.
Santa said the illegals have been so bad this year that they were put on top of the ICE list
Christmas > Easter. Christmas = Lasagna. Easter = Hard Boiled Eggs. I hope this helps to clear things up.
Like what about tall apartment buildings? Does Santa ride the elevator to each floor? How does he carry all the presents in one bag and how does he get into the apartments? I can't wrap my mind around it.
Santa said I've been so good this year that he put me at the top of his nice list.
My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1984.
This Christmas instead of gifts I'm giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!
Before you mock children who still believe in Santa, remember there are still adults who believe everything they read on Facebook.
Funny Christmas
After Christmas
Okay now that Christmas is over, I'm ready for summer!
No New Year, No Groundhog, No Valintine, and now no New President. Holidays suck anymore.
The neighbors are already putting up their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving who have obviously been shopping in Walmart.
Time to lose a little weight from the holidays with my guaranteed to work weight loss program that's called "Log Out of Facebook"
Just got my wish list returned from Santa. The note attached said, "LMBO... NO! [Search Results] [View All Messages]
