love Funny Status Messages

   It used to be called "House Depot" until they filled it with love.

   If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk

   You know it's true love when you ask her what she is thinking about and she says "SEX" and you reply "Me too".

   Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but now I love you.

   I had mice in my kitchen til I replaced mouse traps with tiny notes that said,"I'll love you forever". They left me for my neighbor.

   You say "love means never having to say you're sorry" What I hear is that essentially your love is a narcissistic sociopathic minefield.

   I'm always the first one to say "I love you" in a gangbang.

   Women and tax forms have a lot in common…Men love to cheat on them.

   Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

   I always try to see my relatives with love and affection during the Holidays. When I can't I try to see if there is more Bourbon available.

   People eat at Mcdonalds because they either.(A) love it but don't know how bad it is for you (B) Love it but they don't care that it's bad for you (C).Don't really like it but eat it because they desperatly need to clean out thier colon.

   I love long, romantic walks to the fridge ♥

   I texted my girlfriend "goodnight, love you" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings.

   The world is ending tomorrow & we still don't know who let the dogs out, what is love, & Where's Waldo ,or Victoria's secret

   I don't know why people say something is better if you work for it. Personally, I love being handed awesome sh*t through no effort of my own.

   Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

   Thursday 31st March is National Cleavage Day, a day to work it, love it & celebrate it.!! (@)Y(@)

   Bought jelly, peanut butter and bread. Made a PBJ sandwich. I love it when a plans comes together.

   More people chose to be religious more from their fear of hell than their love of their faith.

   The hardest part of letting go of someone you love... is the splat when they hit the ground.