life Funny Status Messages

   Can I get a Hell Yeah if you don't know what you're doing with your life and you don't get enough sleep.

   My life is an open book. But it's very poorly written and I die in the end.

   Now I know why people are looking for intelligent life on other planets! They've given up on this one!!

   Life's short, don't scroll it away!

   If you watch Harry Potter backwards, Voldemort is really good at zapping people back to life and turning Harry into a baby.

   People who go on to open a second Facebook account because you've reached your maximum number of friends, get a life!

   Bought a crock pot today and suddenly realized I might not be the life of the party I thought I was.

   3 Important Events In A Man's Life: 1) Losing his virginity. 2) Getting married. 3) First time he wears a t-shirt in a whirlpool.

   If life had a reset button. Mine would probably be worn off due to over pressing it.

   "Wisdom doesn't come from age, wisdom comes from the things that you srewed up in your life."

   I don't know how life is as a super hot chick. However, I have played a lot of video games and it must be similar to when you became invincible to everything in your path for 10 seconds. Just replace 10 seconds with "your entire life."

   I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without sex and alcohol and the other 50% happy.

   thinking about everyone who came into my life and made it better... thanks! :)

   Three biggest tragedies in a mans life...Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't..

   Dear Maths, All my life you made me find your X !!! Listen buddy...She's not coming back....So please move on!!! Regards, Frustrated Student

   Ok it's been almost 30 years, And for the life of me....I still can't understand what Dan Akroyd was doing in the "We are the world" video.

   Every day of my life is like an episode of LOST, something crazy always happens and I never have any idea what's going on.

   When I come back in the next life, I would like to come back as a bathroom mirror in a house full of hot women.

   I've had pizza boxes stay in my life longer than some women.

   Today is going so slowly my life is flashing before other people's eyes.